


A Lot More Than Just Living

by Sincerelyyoursanonymous



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin Friendship, F/F, Frat Boy Clarke Griffin, Gen, biased drama teacher anya, foster kid lexa, foster kid lincoln, kind of, lexa/lincoln siblings, lots of fluff, maybe some smut, momma bear indra, overprotective lincoln, robotics nerd raven
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-05-30 16:19:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 44,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6431536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sincerelyyoursanonymous/pseuds/Sincerelyyoursanonymous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Senior Year was supposed to be the best year of her life. With Pike bringing recruiters to all the sports games, Clarke knew that she would have some way out of here. Then the ball is dropped on her shoulders when she is told that she needs another elective to graduate, and that she can't take another year of drawing. Cue her being thrown into the most ridiculous class she's ever heard of- Drama. There she meets the newest student to Arkadia High, Lexa Woods, and she slowly realizes that maybe, just maybe, life is about more than getting through high school.</p><p>[ abandoned fic. ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Come on, Bell! How the hell did you even make the team if you can't even pick the ball up with your stick?” She called, bending over so her hands met her knees. 

It was surprisingly cool for it being only the beginning of September, and Clarke Griffin was annoyed. The sun was beating down on the back of her neck and the smell of barbecue was wafting through the unfortunate serenity she called suburbia. Her mother was having her yearly end-of-summer party.. She was just glad that the whole neighborhood wasn't invited this time. 

“It's not my fault my stick broke, Clarke. You know I'm not used to yours!” Bellamy replied, his brow furrowed in frustration as he struggled to get the ball into the net of his lacrosse stick without the help of his feet. 

“Yes it is- you didn't have to beat the shit out of that raccoon in the trash last week. I told you not to, but hey- who even listens to me?” 

“Hey, shut it, O!” 

Clarke laughed at her friends’ antics; the Blake siblings seemed to always be at each other's throats. When Bellamy finally managed to pick up the ball he and Clarke passed it back and forth a few times before they were called to eat by Marcus, the stepfather of Bellamy and Octavia. Marcus had come into the Blake sibling’s life quite early on, so it wasn't a surprise that Bellamy and Octavia looked up to the man like an actual father. He had created a friendship with her mother, and that made Clarke’s relationship with the Blake’s all that much stronger, despite them living next door for her entire life. 

They had all sat down at the picnic table for dinner, with Clarke in the middle between Bellamy and Raven, their friend and Octavia's girlfriend. Food was passed around and laughter filled the air as questions of their summer were sprouted, and Clarke felt.. Happy. Something she hadn't really felt since her father passed away many years prior. 

“Are you excited for the lacrosse season? Senior year is big- I heard that Pike’s going to be bringing in recruiters for all kinds of sports.” Marcus asked from his spot on the end, across from Bellamy. 

“Oh definitely. Pike may be an asshole-” 

“-language, Clarke.” 

“-sorry mom. Anyways- he may be pretty hard on us all but man, I'm hoping it'll pay off. If not for lacrosse then like, another sport.” Clarke finished, munching on a chip. 

“I'm hoping he’ll bring some of those recruiters to the basketball games. Lacrosse is awesome and everything, but you know it won't get you far in college.” Bellamy interjected, nudging Clarke's arm with his elbow. It led to Clarke purposely nudging him back until they were almost pushing Raven, who’s only response was to grab Clarke's earlobe to stop them. 

“Hey now- okay- alright I'll stop! Geez!” Clarke huffed, rubbing her ear. 

Abby shook her head as she finished chewing and looked over to the pair of girls on the other end. “What about you two? What are you hoping for this year?” 

Raven smiled thankfully at Abby. With her own parents not really caring, she had found a motherly figure in both Abby and Octavia's mom, Aurora, and a fatherly figure in Marcus. “I'm hoping the robotics team goes to states. We may be underestimated, but you'd be surprised with the amount of scholarships that are handed out at the competitions.” 

Octavia’s hand fell to Raven’s thigh as her girlfriend went on about her passion. She loved it when Raven would talk about the things she loved, even if Clarke and Bellamy liked to tease her about it sometimes. Deep down she knew that her friend and brother were always joking around, but she really hoped that Raven knew that too. When the eyes turned to her she snapped out of her thoughts, looking at everyone. “Don’t ask me- I have no idea.” 

Marcus sighed and rested his face in his hand; he had always advised for Octavia to get her mind together and find something to do for the rest of her life but she was stubborn, never wanting to give in. It’s like she didn’t care, even though he knew that she did. She always wanted to keep to herself, though, keeping herself private instead of putting herself out into the world like Bellamy, Clarke, and Raven. 

They talked and talked until the sun started to set and their stomachs hurt from laughing so much, but eventually they all settled down in the Griffin family room, having a nice movie night to really end the summer right. By the time the final Hunger Games film ended on the television, all four teenagers were passed out, their dreams being filled by potential futures, love, and hopes for the next year to come. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Clarke woke with a groggy start the next morning; her throat feeling dry and her eyes not wanting to open to meet the lights that her mother had turned on in the house. She shifted on her spot on the couch, stretching out her legs as she mentally prepared for the usual start-of-the-year rant her mother was going to give them. As her legs moved out along the couch she ended up kicking something hard and her eyes opened, only to see Bellamy asleep sitting up on the other side of the couch, fully dressed for the day already. She didn’t blame him- she wanted to go back to sleep too. She had been helping him with drills and passes for football, while he was helping her get into shape for volleyball tryouts that were set to happen halfway through the month. To sum things up, the both of them had been exhausted. 

After finally managing to get herself up off the couch and into the kitchen for an apple, she caught the time on the stove and groaned aloud. She didn’t realize how late it was.. She had roughly fifteen minutes to shower and get ready before they were set to drive to school. She shoved the apple between her teeth and jogged upstairs to shower and get ready for the day, knowing that she’d probably have to do her makeup in the backseat of Bellamy’s truck. She had barely been able to get dressed before she was rushing out the door- saying a quick goodbye to her mom with only one shoe on as she hopped into the front seat. 

“How the hell did you sleep so late? You were asleep before I was!” Octavia exclaimed from the backseat, buckling herself up as Bellamy pulled out of the driveway. 

“You didn’t sleep because I didn’t sleep, O.” Raven piqued, plopping her bag on the floor between her feet. 

“Hey- keep the lovey-dovey talk to a minimum, Rae. I don’t want to hear about what you and my sister get up to when you’re in the same room as me.” 

Clarke shook her head and pulled down the visor from the roof, using the built-in mirror to her advantage. She was used to having to apply makeup in the front seat; having been best friends with the three of them for years meant things like water parks and camping and places where the only sanitary environment with a mirror was the truck itself. By the time they had pulled into the school Clarke had managed to not only apply eyeshadow, but eyeliner and mascara as well and didn’t even smudge it once. 

“I’ll never get over how perfect you manage to do that in that damn truck.” Octavia stated as they exited the truck. 

They met up with a few of their friends, catching up with them because they had spent most of the summer apart. Despite being on the same teams as a lot of them, Bellamy, Clarke, Octavia and Raven all really only hung out with each other. Everyone else were either purely teammates or acquaintances. Because of their appearances on the various sports teams of the school, both Bellamy and Clarke were known by almost everyone, and in turn Octavia and Raven were known as well. It was overwhelming at first, with everyone knowing their name and none of them knowing everyone’s, but they got used to it over time. 

“Clarke Griffin, report to the principal’s office. Clarke Griffin, to the principle’s office.” 

The intercom overhead rang out, and Clarke sighed. Of course she’d be called down on the first day. Wasn’t bad enough that she was almost late. It seemed like fate was not on her side today. 

“It’s the first day of school, Clarke- what could you of possibly done to get in trouble?” Raven asked from her locker. 

“I didn’t do anything this time, I swear Wallace is trying to set me up or something.” Clarke grumbled, shaking her head as she headed down towards the office. The principal, Dante Wallace, was the strictest man that Clarke knew. He was worse than the gym teacher, Pike, whom everyone hated with a burning passion.

She made her way through the hallways, easily ignoring every stare that went her way as she went. She was used to being called down, unfortunately, but most of the time it was for stupid things or things she didn’t do. One time Wallace tried to frame the vandalized gym lockers on her, purely because she had to leave gym class early due to a doctor’s appointment. If she didn’t have the paperwork, she probably would’ve been suspended for that.

“What did I do this time, Wallace?” Clarke asked as she walked past the secretary into the principal’s office. She sat down in the seat across from him and brought her foot up to rest on her knee, getting comfortable. 

“It seems to be that you have a missing elective credit, Miss Griffin. You’re going to want to get that taken care of if you want to graduate.” Wallace stated plainly, avoiding eye contact with Clarke. The blonde huffed. 

“I’ll just take drawing again- Mrs. G loves me.” Clarke shrugged off the statement he had said; she wasn’t worried about her electives. They were pointless most of the time and the only reason why she paid attention in any class that wasn’t drawing was because she had to keep her grades up in order to play sports. 

“Then it seems we have a problem. You cannot take the same elective twice, Clarke. We encourage our students to broaden their horizons by engaging in multiple varieties- you have to pick another elective.” 

“What the hell, man?! I don’t care for any other elective!” 

“Calm down, Clarke.” 

Clarke sighed and ran a hair through her slightly-damp hair. She wished she had brought a hat today- her hair was going to get tangled and snarled by the end of the day because she didn’t have the chance to properly style it. “What am I going to take, then?” 

Wallace passed a paper over to her with a list of the available electives on it. It took all she had to not crumple the paper up and throw it at the principal- mostly because she knew if she did that she’d get a detention. The paper only held three electives; culinary (which wasn’t an option because Clarke couldn’t cook to save her life), woodshop (which- just no. If she couldn’t cook, she definitely couldn’t make things with wood), and drama. All of the options were things she had no interest in doing whatsoever, and that alone ground her gears. Why did the school think it was okay to make the students do things that they didn’t want to do? Especially as seniors when nothing really mattered but getting what you needed to graduate and having fun? She tapped her finger against her chin, pretending to be in deep thought when in reality she was wondering how many times she could bash the principal’s head against the wall without getting caught. She really hated Dante Wallace. 

“I’ll just take Drama- it’s the least aggravating out of the three.” She eventually decided, standing up with a shake of the head. “Can I go now?” 

Wallace nodded and took the paper back. “Yes you may.” 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It had taken Clarke a full twenty minutes to figure out where the drama room was. She had received her modified schedule halfway into first period; just receiving the paper was enough to make her want to skip school that day. She probably would have, if Raven wasn’t giving her the death glare from across the room, and she didn’t want to make Raven mad. She had seen the girl mad about one thing or another, and it wasn’t a force to be reckoned with. Especially since Octavia always took Raven’s side. 

When she finally found the drama room she casually walked inside and took a seat in one of the variously spread out chairs, completely ignoring whatever the teacher was saying. She didn’t want to be there, but she felt like she had to be. She pulled out her phone and was mindlessly scrolling through Facebook when she heard her name being said. 

“Clarke? What are you doing here?” 

She looked up to see Octavia, of all people, sitting in the front row in front of the whiteboard, a pen and paper in her hands. The blonde furrowed her brow and realized that everyone was looking at her, and the teacher didn’t look happy at all. 

“Uhh..” 

“You must be Miss Griffin. I heard that you were going to be joining my class and I’ll admit, I wasn’t too happy to hear that.” The teacher stated as she walked over to Clarke. “If you were here for the beginning of class you would know that I have a very strict no-phone policy.” She explained as she held out her hand, and Clarke handed it over with a huff. “Who wants to inform Clarke about what she missed?” 

Octavia went to speak up, but was cut off. “Anyone but Octavia.” 

Clarke looked around the room, her lips forming a straight line. Students around her were raising their hands, all wanting to be called on by the teacher. Eventually, the teacher picked on a girl who sat a few seats down from Octavia.  
“On top of the no-phones policy, you introduced yourself to us as Anya Forrest, but you would like to be called Anya because it makes it seem more like a friendship than a teacher/student relationship. You also asked us to copy down what was on the board, because it is the information for the required auditions for the school play this year.” 

Clarke rolled her eyes. Of course she’d be put in a class full of goody-two-shoes. It made her wonder why exactly Octavia was in that class. 

“Thank you. You see, Clarke? It’s Lexa’s first day here and she’s already more prepared than you are. Maybe you should stop being so focused on sports and see what was around you.” Anya finished, then walked over to her desk. Clarke shook her head and pulled out her notebook, casually writing down what she had to. If she was being forced to be there, she was going to try her hardest to at least get a B- so she could both graduate and be able to participate. 

Since it was the first day they were allowed to talk amongst themselves for the last fifteen minutes of class (the first forty-five were spent playing get-to-know-me games which Clarke despised), but Clarke found herself looking around the room instead. A quarter of the room was taken up by a large platform that resembled a stage, with the walls around it being black. The walls that weren’t attached to the makeshift stage were a deep green that contrasted against the grey ceiling, that of which a few panels were painted to look like the posters of old shows that the school had put on. Various quotes from Shakespeare and other idol-worthy people were plastered along the walls, giving the room a little bit of life. If Clarke didn’t know any better, she would of thought that the room belonged to some Broadway-freak high schooler. 

Her first instinct when given the freedom to talk was to go over to Octavia and see why the hell the brunette was in this class, but something stopped her. She looked back over to the stage and saw the girl who caught her up, Lexa, sitting alone. She knew she should've just walked over to her friend, that she shouldn’t do anything else, but something was drawing her towards the girl. She started to walk towards the stage, going in and out of the sporadically-placed chairs without tripping over one of them, but before she could make it to the platform where the girl was sitting she was stopped. 

“You need to explain what the hell you’re doing here. Now, Clarke.” 

Clarke wasn’t sure if she would ever stop sighing that day. What a way to start her senior year.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Octavia talk about things related to drama class and Clarke is a complete idiot in front of Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter but I really wanted to write another one and this was what came out. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Clarke wasn’t sure if she could fight off the impending headache. Octavia seemed to have rage in her eyes (which didn’t really surprise her), but what was really getting her was the fact that Octavia seemed to be almost upset that Clarke was there. She tried to peek around her friend to look at the girl on the stage, but Octavia was trying everything she could to get Clarke to meet her eyes. 

“Clarke.” 

The blonde looked to Octavia; despite them being the same height she was really intimidating when she wanted to be. “Wallace said I needed another elective to graduate.” 

“Why couldn’t you of just taken drawing again?” 

“Tried that- he spewed some bs about how they want their students to ‘broaden their horizons’ and all that jazz. It was either this, culinary, or woodshop.” Clarke explained, crossing her arms. 

“And why didn’t you take either of those?” 

“Octavia, I can barely make mac and cheese without messing something up.” 

“So? Why did you have to pick drama of all things?!” 

Clarke adjusted her bag and turned her attention away from Octavia. She was looking for that girl from earlier, Lexa, but she wasn’t on the stage. Her eyes shot around the room, looking for the girl, but she was nowhere to be seen. 

“Hello? Earth to Clarke!” 

She looked back at Octavia. 

“What is the big deal with me being here?” She asked, noticing the way that Octavia’s eyes went from accusing to worried. Her friend was hiding something. 

“Nothing, just forget it. Don’t try and screw this up, Clarke.” Octavia huffed, walking away from the blonde. When she thought that she could finally find the girl from earlier the bell rang, signaling that it was time for lunch. Maybe now she could actually find her. 

She was one of the last people to leave the classroom, not really having anyone to meet up with because she was almost certain she had lunch with her friends. She made a mental note to talk to Octavia about their little encounter in the drama room earlier, preferably when they weren’t around Bellamy and Raven. If Clarke didn’t know about the girl taking drama, she was almost certain that Bellamy and Raven didn’t know either. She put her headphones in and walked alone in the hallway, taking her time as she made her way to the lunch room. The sounds of Halsey and Maroon 5 filled her ears as she walked, her eyes focusing on everything but what was in front of her. She didn’t care to stop and talk with other people; she just wanted to move through the day with ease (and hopefully find that girl from earlier). 

She couldn’t describe it. The girl- Lexa- was new, and that wasn’t even the thing that intrigued her. It wasn’t the fact that Lexa seemed to pay attention better than she ever could in class, it wasn’t that Lexa didn’t seem to have a lot of friends. She couldn’t put her finger on it. Clarke was drawn to her; something that had never happened before. 

As she was lost in her thoughts she wasn’t looking where she was going, and in result she ended up walking face-first into an open locker. She shouted profanities and her hands shot to her face, cupping her injured nose in her hands. Yanking her headphones from her ears she looked up at the perpetrator and her eyes widened at who the locker belonged to. 

“Are you okay?” Lexa asked, an eyebrow raised. She had a book in her hand and her backpack in the other- obviously switching out her books from the day. Her hair was pushed over one shoulder but that wasn’t what Clarke was focusing on- instead it was the very tall, intimidating male next to her. 

“Uh.. Uh yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Clarke stammered, her eyes flicking between Lexa and the guy. 

“I’ll see you after lunch, Lex.” The guy stated stiffly, then proceeded to walk away from the two of them. 

 

Clake removed her hand from her face and bit her lip- her nose was bleeding. 

“You don’t look okay.” 

Blue eyes glanced up to see concerned green ones looking at her and she bit her lip just a little bit harder. Whoever this person really was.. She seemed like someone Clarke wanted to get to know. 

“Just a little bit of bruising.. I’ll be alright. Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” 

Lexa nodded and shut her locker, not believing what Clarke was saying. She grabbed the blonde’s arm and dragged her to the nearest bathroom, then grabbed a bunch of tissues to help stop the bleeding coming from Clarke’s nose. Clarke couldn’t help but notice how careful the girl was being. 

“You know you really don’t have to do this- I’ve handled worse before. Like.. a lot worse. You should've seen the size of the bruise I got when I got a basketball to the face last year.” Clarke began to ramble as Lexa moved closer. “Like.. woah. I couldn’t look out of my right eye for weeks. The girls from Blue Cliff are really.. Really brutal.” She trailed off, swallowing thickly as Lexa gently pushed her head back, making her look at the brunette at an angle. Clarke couldn’t concentrate- she blamed it on the fact that the girl was touching her. What was happening? She never let a girl get to her head like this. 

“You talk a lot- is that why Anya hates you?” Lexa asked, dabbing at Clarke’s nose. The white tissue turned quickly to red and Clarke wondered just how bad the nosebleed really was.

“I didn’t even know who Anya was before today.” Clarke stated, closing her eyes for a moment. “Let’s just say I’ve got kind of the reputation around here- I blame Bellamy.” 

“Bellamy?” 

“He’s an idiot, but my best friend. His sister, Octavia, is in our drama class.” 

“So.. Octavia is your friend? She seemed rather upset that you were in that class.” 

Clarke sighed and opened her eyes. She had noticed that Octavia was upset, but once again, she didn’t know why. She didn’t even know that Octavia was interested in drama- or maybe that wasn’t even the case at all. 

“Yeah.. I know. Don’t know why.” 

Lexa hummed and Clarke had a feeling that conversation wasn’t going to last much longer than that. When her nose was cleaned up and had stopped bleeding Lexa let Clarke stand up straight, despite Clarke feeling a little dizzy from the impact of hitting the locker. 

“I’m uh.. Sorry that I made you late for class.” Clarke apologized, adjusting her bag strap as her eyes fell on the tiled ground of the bathroom floor. 

“You didn’t. I’ve got A lunch.” Lexa explained and pulled on her own backpack, then began to walk out of the room.

“Wait! Uh- do you maybe want to sit with me at lunch, then? I know you’re new and all, and you probably don’t have that many friends so like- yeah. Octavia will be there?” Clarke tried, but from the way Lexa chuckled at her she had a feeling that she was about to be turned down. 

“We’ll see, Clarke.” With that, Lexa sent her a wink (a freaking _wink_ ) and left the bathroom, leaving Clarke in a small pile of damp, red tissues and her emotions that seemed to have lost all control of themselves. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After what happened in the bathroom, all confidence Clarke had was gone. She went through the motions of getting lunch from the line and sat down at her usual table with Bellamy, Octavia, and Raven, but this year they were joined by a few of their other friends, Jasper, Monty, and Bellamy’s girlfriend, Gina. She slumped down into the empty seat between Monty and Bellamy, focusing on nothing and everything in particular. Her eyes scanned the lunchroom, through various people that she didn’t care about, hoping to see where Lexa was sitting. Maybe she could get a reaction out of the girl or something. But she didn’t see her anywhere. 

“So- what did Wallace want this morning?” Bellamy asked, nudging her arm to get her attention. 

“Oh- what? Uh, nothing. Need another elective, can’t take drawing, yadda yadda yadda.” Clarke mumbled, taking small bites of her food. She didn’t really have an appetite. 

“Wait- you can’t take drawing this year? That sucks, C. I know you wanted to take it again.” Monty chimed in, shaking his head. His mother was the drawing teacher, so despite what classes he took he was always allowed in the drawing classroom. 

Monty, although not as close to her as the main three, was a close friend of Clarke’s since their freshman year of high school. He and Clarke had been project partners in biology and she helped Monty get his first A of the year because she knew everything about the class before the class even began. Monty was on the robotics team with Raven and Jasper, but when it came down to it Monty was like the brother she never had. They had a lot of interests, and it was Monty that she confided in her freshman year when her father passed. He had sat with her at lunch in his mother’s classroom, allowing her to cry without being seen by anyone else, and they had spent the entire half hour just painting various things that they were feeling. They had become closer ever since, even if they didn’t hang out a lot outside of school. 

“It’s whatever. I got put in drama.” 

“Drama? Really? Geez.. What a stupid class.” Clarke furrowed her brow when it was Octavia who said that. She sent the girl a questioning look, but earned nothing in response. 

“Yeah- it really is. But it’s whatever- I just gotta deal with it so I can graduate.” The blonde shrugged and finished what she could of her food before she stood up to throw it away. She wanted to go and wander the hallways just to be able to _think_ , but she chose against it and went to sit with her friends. 

“Are you gonna be able to drive us home later or do you have practice?” Raven asked Bellamy from her spot across from him. 

“I’ve got practice but I’ll give you my keys- I wasn’t thinking this morning.” 

“Are you ever thinking, Bell?” Octavia added. 

“Do you ever say anything that isn’t insulting?” 

“Yeah- but what’s the fun of having a big brother if I can’t tease the hell out of him?” 

Clarke shook her head and drowned out her friend’s thoughts. She thought back to earlier, when she had actually had a conversation with someone that wasn’t one of her friends, and how… nice, it felt. Talking to Lexa felt almost normal, like she had known the girl almost as long as Octavia and Bellamy. Sure, she might of made a fool of herself by running into the girl's locker and stammering like an idiot but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that she was _still_ intrigued by Lexa, and she couldn’t figure out why. 

When lunch came to an end Clarke grabbed the loop of Octavia’s backpack, letting the girl know that she wanted to talk. She let Octavia say goodbye to Raven and allowed their friends to walk away before she started walking with Octavia, the girl remaining quiet for most of the time. 

“What was that, O?” Clarke asked, furrowing her brow in concern as she looked at Octavia. 

“They don’t know I’m in drama.” 

“That much is obvious.” 

“Cut the sarcasm. It’s.. Not cool, alright? Being in drama, I mean. Most of those guys get picked on because it’s like.. Lower than the band geeks most of the time but.. I don’t know. I _like_ it in there. I like how it feels to be around people that are interested in the same things that I am.” Octavia explained.

“Gee, thanks O. Glad to know that our friendship means so much to you.” 

“You know what I mean! You and Bellamy are into sports, Raven, Jasper and Monty are all into robotics.. But here I am, the drama nerd that’s all alone.” Octavia huffed and crossed her arms, and Clarke swore that in that moment Octavia reminded her of a small puppy that had been kicked. 

“Octavia, you know that you could tell them, right? Yeah- I know they’ll probably tease you about it but hey, when have you ever really let them tease you about anything? If you like drama, then at least share it with Raven like she shares robotics with you. I’m sure it’ll make her fall even more in love with you.” Clarke explained, placing a hand on Octavia’s shoulder. She hated seeing her friend beat herself up over something that seemed so silly. 

“Are you sure she won’t make fun of me?” 

“Octavia. The girl finds joy in putting together circuit boards and talking to robots that aren’t even named Siri. I’m sure she’ll love the fact that you like being on stage as someone else, because it’s your passion. You don’t love her any less because she makes robots, do you?” 

Octavia shook her head. 

“Then who’s to say that she’ll stop loving you because you like to act?” 

Octavia sighed. “I guess you’re right.” She chewed her lip and looked down at the ground, taking a deep breath. “I’ll talk to her. But.. aside that point, what’s going on with you and new girl?”

“What- Lexa?”

“Yeah. Do you know her?” 

Clarke shook her head. “No, I don’t. But there’s something about her- I’m just.. I don’t know. Drawn to her. Like.. Like something about her just makes me want to know more. Like a good book, or a painting that I can’t figure out. Like.. Like how in Pretty Little Liars, how we kept watching to figure out who A is.” 

Octavia rolled her eyes. “It sounds like you’ve got a crush, Clarke.” 

“I don’t even know her enough to have a crush on her.” 

“That didn’t stop you from dating Finn.” 

Clarke shuddered and shook her head. “Please, don’t bring him up.” 

“All I’m saying is that you should talk to her. Get to know her, have a decent conversation that doesn’t involve you talking about how stupid you think drama is.” Octavia suggested, making them stop at her locker. 

Clarke thought about it for a moment, mostly if she should tell Octavia about the small moment that she and Lexa had in the bathroom. It would get a laugh out of her, that was for sure, but she wouldn’t doubt it if Octavia would mock her about the fact that she A.) ran into a locker, and B.) rambled on in front of the girl who's said locker she ran into. 

“We actually already have. I uh.. Ran into her locker. And she helped me in the bathroom.” 

“Geez, Griffin. You move fast.” 

“Not like that! God- why do I think it’s a good idea to tell you these things?” Clarke asked, resting her head against the cool metal of the lockers. “Do you think I should try talking to her again?” 

“Give it a while. Take things slow- I know you probably don’t know the meaning of that word but it means that you don’t go fast.” 

Clarke huffed and flipped off Octavia, who only laughed as she walked away from her brooding friend. “Have fun, Clarke!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke experiences a traumatic flashback and confides in an unlikely person. No trigger warnings are needed for this chapter.

The rest of the day went by rather slowly. Clarke found herself hating almost every class she was in, more so the people she ended up being around. It was like everyone was wanting to try and be her friend but she wanted none of it. It was her seventh hour- her World Studies class to be exact- and she was sitting alone at a table in the back with her chair tilted back just enough so her back hit the wall. She could have done without the feeling of the bulletin board jabbing into her shoulder, but it was better than sitting at the front where her teacher could easily call on her. 

It wasn’t that she wasn’t smart. No, Clarke was definitely smart. But all throughout high school her teachers always thought it would be a good idea to call on her when she didn’t want to be called on. It was really bad her freshman year, right before her father passed, but back then she didn’t mind it. She loved going home and telling her dad about what she had learned that day and what teacher she had befriended, but after he passed things started to go downhill in terms of participating during class discussion. 

Her father was the one person that Clarke looked up to the most. She thought that he was brave, strong, and above all else a real charmer. He’s the person who bought Clarke her first art set- a top-notch kit with high-quality paint and brushes. And after months of sketching ideas and doing samples on canvas, he asked her to paint a mural for him in the office of his shop. 

Jake Griffin was a friendly man, having owned the local car shop and was a well-respected man around the town. People knew him from the shop or from around the town, or even from Clarke’s school where he would volunteer from time to time as the little league coach. He was the father figure to Octavia and Bellamy before Marcus came into the picture, but even after her friends loved her father. 

She remembered vividly when she got the call that her father had died. She was in class, chatting away with Octavia about a show they both had watched the night before when the teacher called on her. 

_“Clarke Griffin?”_

_Clarke, confused, gave Octavia a look that made her question why she was in trouble. If she was even in trouble. She made her way up to the front of the classroom, knowing for a fact that there were kids staring at her back, and stopped right in front of the teachers desk. She could feel the empathy coming off the teacher like a mist; it made her heart drop in her stomach._

_“You need to head down to the guidance office, please.” The teacher stated, writing out a pass for her._

_Taking the pass, Clarke had walked out of the classroom and down the hallway. Thoughts flew through her mind; scenarios as to why she would be called down to guidance. Maybe her classes got messed up- it was really early into the school year, after all-, maybe there was something going on with her parents and she wouldn’t be able to get picked up, maybe she had been picked for an art show, maybe-_

_Her thoughts stopped as she opened the door. She met the sorrowful eyes of the secretary and walked past her to her counselor, but as soon as she sat down she knew something was wrong. Her counselor had a look of grief on his face and his hands were folded on his desk, like he was waiting patiently to drop the bomb that would freeze Clarke’s insides like an eskimo without a parka._

_When she was told that her father had died on the way to the hospital from a car falling on him and that she had the option of leaving school, she denied the option. She couldn’t go home, and be alone or be with Bellamy’s mom- she couldn’t. She wanted to stay there, with her friends, and distract herself in any way. So she went back to class, ignored Octavia’s question of what was wrong, and continued on the day to the best that she could until she found herself in the art room crying on Monty’s shoulder at lunch time. She never cried at school but when she finally broke down, Monty knew to get her someplace where she felt safe. And that was his mother’s art room._

Clarke was ripped from her thoughts when tears started to streak her cheeks from the memory. She felt the wetness in small trails and shook her head, wiping at them with her sleeves. She couldn’t cry. Not at school, not when it was so long ago. People would think she was weak and would belittle her. 

That’s what led Clarke to sports. When her father died she took up something that could take up more time, something that could distract her more and that was sports. She would practice with Bellamy for basketball and lacrosse, and just for something to hold onto from her father, she picked up soccer. Some of her earliest memories of him was of the two of them running around her backyard, kicking an old soccer ball back and forth (or more so her kicking the ball and him chasing after her). 

She had always wanted to do something to make her father proud of her. He always said that no matter what she did he would be proud, but that didn’t motivate her enough. She wanted to be the best she could be. Whether it was sports, or drawing, or something she didn’t even know she was talented at she wanted to make him proud from where he was up in the sky. She had told that to her mother one day, and she actually made Abby cry by doing so. Abby was always proud of Clarke and told her, but it wasn’t Abby’s acceptance that she really wanted. It was from the man who wasn’t there anymore. 

When her tears had dried she took a deep breath, cringing at the warm air that entered her lungs. Her teacher always enjoyed to have the heat on, no matter the temperature outside and it got so stuffy in the room that she always felt like dying. She grabbed her bag and stood up, walking up to the teacher and asking for the bathroom pass, mumbling something about it being that time of the month and needing her bag to go with her. Her teacher seemed to not care and wrote the pass, and Clarke was quite grateful that she didn’t need to further explain. She took the pass in one hand and left the classroom, not planning on coming back. School was almost over anyways.

Once in the cooling contrast of the hallway she leaned against the lockers, letting her eyes close for a moment. This wasn’t how today was supposed to go. It was her first day back, as a senior that is, and here she was, crying over something that happened her freshman year. It didn’t make sense. Usually her memories didn’t make her feel like this. Once she regained control over her emotions she straightened her posture and started the walk outside, planning on waiting by Bellamy’s truck for Octavia and Raven. She couldn’t go back inside that school. Not right now, anyways. 

As she exited the school and felt the hard pavement beneath her feet she realized just how far Bellamy’s truck was from the school and internally cursed her friend. Usually she didn’t mind, but right now she just wanted to get in the front seat and breathe in the scent of his cologne and the worn-down leather. It was something that calmed her, and she never understood why. Maybe it was because he was like family. She could never put her finger on it. 

She walked the ten minute walk from the doors to the truck, which was parked by the opening to the football field. She had thrown her bag into the backseat and was about to climb into the passenger when she heard someone talking, and in a panic of being caught she whipped her head around, but didn’t see anyone. She moved around to the other side of the truck, but the voice seemed to be coming from inside the football field. It wasn’t one of the teachers- she would've recognized it, so with little hesitation she made her way into the stadium, towards where the voice was. 

It was being carried through the entrance from the bleachers and Clarke could only assume that it was coming from underneath it. She moved closer and the voice got louder- it was scruffy and low, that of a young man attempting to be quiet. The only thing she could smell aside from the general scent of falling leaves and colder air was a cigarette- whoever this was, was smoking under the bleachers. 

“Okay- I’ll get her home right after. I gotta go.” 

She heard the sound of the phone being shoved into a pocket and the clear exhale of someone sighing, and that was when she made herself known. She stepped around the bleachers slowly, walking towards the person. It was the guy that was standing at Lexa’s locker earlier that day. He had a blank expression on his face that didn’t falter when he brought the- what seemed to be- freshly lit cigarette to his lips and if Clarke wasn’t slightly afraid for being caught eavesdropping she would have questioned it. 

“Stressful first day?” 

She didn’t get any response from the man other than a nod and another inhale and exhale of smoke. Being the daughter of one of the best nurses in the town, Clarke was ready to give the man a lecture on smoking and how it did damage to their lungs but she chose against it. Now would not be the best time. 

They stood there, feet apart from each other but seeming to be ignoring each other. It was a first for Clarke, but she didn’t mind it all that much. It was nice, being in someone’s company without them expecting anything from you. It seemed like they were standing there for hours.

“You’ve been crying.” The man stated out of the blue, ashing out his cigarette on the cement beneath them. He didn’t seem worried about being caught- the wind would carry the smoke and ashes away without a trace. 

Clarke looked up at him, almost in fear. Was it really that noticeable?

“Yes.” 

She furrowed her brow. “I said that out loud, didn’t I?” 

She received another nod. Sighing, she crossed her arms and looked down at her feet. She probably looked ridiculous with tear-stained cheeks and red, puffy eyes and just thinking about how she looked was making her feelings come back again. She bit her lip hard to fight back any tears that were willing to fall again at the thought of her father- only to fail when she looked at the concerned eyes that the man was holding. 

“I’m sorry- I’m usually not this emotional-” She cut herself off when her breathing started to quicken. 

This time, she didn’t receive a head gesture from the man, but instead he offered out his cigarette for her to take. 

“-I don’t smoke-” 

He insisted, and with a small grunt she took it from him and attempted to take a long inhale. It helped, somehow, feeling the smoke infiltrate her lungs and stop her from concentrating on breathing for just a moment. It helped her get her breathing back under control. She tried to take another inhale but ended up coughing this one out, but at least her breathing was calmer now. 

“Better?” 

Clarke was the one to nod now. “Thank you.” 

“I’m Lincoln.” 

She furrowed her brow and looked up at him, noticing that he was being serious. “Are you Lexa’s boyfriend?” 

Lincoln smiled. “Lexa doesn’t need a boyfriend. I’m her brother.” 

“But-” 

“Foster brother. She didn’t tell you?” 

“We’re not exactly the best of friends.” 

Lincoln looked like he was about to make a comment, but Clarke’s phone ringing cut him off. He motioned for Clarke to take one more inhale which she did as she picked up the phone, then handed the cigarette back to Lincoln for him to finish it. It was strange, sharing something usually so foreign to her with someone she didn’t know at all, but it was calming to her. 

“Hello?” 

“Clarke? Where are you? School got out ten minutes ago.” Raven’s voice rang out over the speaker. Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“I’ll be there soon- got a little caught up at the stadium.” 

“The stadium? Clarke what’re you doing there?” 

“Thinking. I’ll explain later. Be at the truck in a second.” She stated before hanging up her phone. She looked over at Lincoln one last time and gave him a soft smile. “Don’t mention this little thing, please? I don’t want my friends to know that I was smoking.” 

“And you think I want Lexa to know I was smoking on school grounds?” He asked, a teasing grin on his face. “I’ll see you around, Clarke.” 

Clarke’s smile grew and she nodded, turning her back on the young man. Maybe she had just found a friend in Lexa’s brother, and maybe, just maybe, that could help her get closer to Lexa.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Includes nervous!Clarke and a surprise for Raven. Octaven meets Lincoln and Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delayed chapter update, guys. I've been struggling with writers block. Hope you enjoy.

Clarke knew this idea was crazy. Part of her wanted to travel back in time and pick wood shop over drama. At least with wood shop she wouldn't have to get up on stage and make a fool of herself, right? She'd just get to play with wood and maybe end up with a few splinters or cuts on her fingers. Nothing too big, nothing too.. Show-y. 

It had been a week since her first day and for the most part, things had gone quite well. She had managed to keep Octavia’s secret, Bellamy had won his first game and she had even had a few more friendly run-ins with Lincoln, even if her friends didn't know about the last part. Now here she was, forced to memorize a monologue for something as simple as Romeo and Juliet and she was shaking her guts out because of nerves.

That was something that was new to her. She never got nervous. She had led the lacrosse team to state championships two years in a row with the weight of everyone's nerves on her shoulders but her own. She had aced her ACTs without even breaking a sweat because she knew she could do it. But she didn't know if she could do this. She was unsure if she could put past the fear of everyone watching her long enough to perform something as simple as a Shakespearean monologue. 

She was set to go onstage, just like the rest of the wannabe actors, and perform in front of all the other auditionees and the one she feared the most judgement from: Anya. She sat perched in her seat, her knee jumping in place as she scanned over the words repeatedly to the point where she felt like she could recite them in her sleep but it still didn't feel like it was enough. She had sat closer to the exit- just in case she needed to make a break for it. As she ran her eyes across the crumpled paper for what felt like the millionth time she felt someone sit down next to her, but who she saw when she turned her head was someone she wasn't expecting. 

“What're you doing in here?” 

“I got bored sitting in the truck. I finished the run down for the blueprints and I finished my book. I had nothing else to do. I figured I'd come watch you, if you haven't gone up there that is.” Raven whispered towards her, her eyes lighting up even in the darkened house lights of the theater seats. 

Fifty people had signed up to audition for the play; twenty-five of those people being in her drama class. Something told her most of those people would end up purposely blowing their audition and choosing to do backstage instead. That thought actually crossed her mind a few times. 

“What if Anya sees you?! Raven- the chick is a madman- she'll- I don't know, castrate you or something if she finds out you're in here and not auditioning.” 

“I don't have a dick for her to castrate me, Clarke.” Raven smirked, nudging Clarke's arm. “Come on- she's not gonna catch me. Worst comes to worst I just tell her I wanna do backstage or something. Sure I'll be caught in something I don't wanna do but it'll be better than getting in trouble.” 

Clarke huffed and turned her attention back to her paper. She hadn't been paying attention to the other students auditioning, mostly to not psych herself out. She knew if that happened she's really be screwed. 

“Clarke? Is that-” 

“Hello, my name is Octavia Blake and I will be auditioning for the role of Juliet.” 

Oh no. 

Clarke’s eyes widened when she heard Octavia speak from the stage and she just _knew_ that her friend’s cover was blown. She looked up and saw Octavia perfectly going over the monologue- it was obvious that this was what the girl was preparing when she wasn’t with Raven or their friends, and she had practiced long and hard. It was showing off as she easily made it through the Shakespearean language with no faults- if Octavia didn’t get the part she’d be surprised. Very surprised. 

“Clarke?” 

Her eyes moved from Octavia on the stage over to Raven, who seemed to be just as impressed but also confused. Clarke didn’t blame her- if she didn’t already know Octavia’s secret she would of been confused as well. Raven's eyes didn't move from Octavia on the stage. Clarke had a feeling that she was going to have to to have to either tell Raven what’s been happening, or somehow sneak off to a different part of the auditorium when Octavia got offstage. She was hoping for the latter.. She didn’t want Raven to hear Octavia’s secret from her. 

“I’ll let her explain..” Clarke whispered, watching as Octavia started to walk up the stairs towards her, but froze when she saw Raven next to her. Clarke only shrugged at her and slowly moved to walk down the aisle of chairs, then down the stairs to a different row. 

Octavia was probably going to be mad at her for leaving her all alone with Raven at a time like this, but Raven deserved to know. She didn’t deserve to be left in the dark about something was so important and prominent in Octavia’s life. It wasn’t right. 

Taking a seat in a different row she tried to go back to reviewing her lines but something stopped her. She felt like she had eyes on her- for some reason or another. Like someone was watching her. Looking over to the side she caught Lincoln looking her way with a glint in his eyes; one that she couldn’t decide what it was. They locked eyes for a moment before he made a motion for him to sit next to her, and for some reason she did. She packed up her things, glanced at Octavia and Raven in the back corner of the room talking, the shuffled her way towards Lincoln in the middle of the seats. 

“You look nervous.” 

Clarke almost paled. She had to try and cover up herself more often if he could read into her that easily. 

“It’s scary how you do that.” 

“Do what?” 

“Read me like a book. I’m not.. I’m not used to that kind of thing.” Clarke explained, slumping down in the seat next to him. She leaned back and took a small tuft of hair in her hands, twisting it and playing with it out of nerves. 

“Bellamy doesn’t read people well?” 

Clarke raised an eyebrow. “Why are you asking about Bellamy?” 

“He’s a male friend in your life. I know girls can read people easily, but guys are harder to both read and be read by. I only know expressions so well because Lexa is quite dramatic.” Lincoln explained, crossing his ankle to his knee. 

Clarke looked at him with a furrowed brow and concerned eyes. What had Lexa being so dramatic about? She sighed and chose against asking him again, both out of fear that Anya will catch her and the fact that she didn’t want to push Lincoln into talking about something that she didn’t want to talk about. They sat in silence, just watching the people auditioning one after the other until it was time for her to audition. And to say the least, she was terrified. She didn’t know how she was going to be able to do this without shitting herself or passing out on the stage. Both of which would make for quite the story to tell, but she didn’t want to be the victim of the story. 

As she walked down the aisleway she took deep breaths and tried her hardest to remember the lines that she had memorized and reviewed just minutes prior. But her mind was blanking. Her boots clanked against the wooden stage, creating an echo throughout the quite yet spacious auditorium. Her nerves heightened and she felt sweat start to gather at the back of her neck, making her even more self-conscious about herself in that moment than anything else. The stage lights blinded her but she could still feel each and every pair of eyes on her. She could feel the warmth of the lights beating against her face, making her come off as pale and nervous. And for once in her life, Clarke Griffin was beyond nervous. 

But she started the monologue anyways. 

And not a single person laughed when she was finished. She had stumbled on her words, she had forgotten a line or two and she didn’t seem to know any more than what she was required to memorize. But she did it. And she was feeling a high that she didn’t know she could possibly feel from something that wasn’t a sport. It was exhilarating, seeing the way people were looking at her as she came down from the stairs even if she knew that it was because she messed up a lot. She was glad that it was over, but at the same time, she kind of liked it. 

She had sat back in her spot next to Lincoln when she was finished and the boy only smiled at her and gave her a pat on the shoulder. She assumed that that was the most that Lincoln really showed when it came towards affection to people he didn’t know a lot about. She zoned out during the last few auditioners, but came to when Lincoln nudged her arm. She was about to ask him why he had done that when he pointed towards the stage and Clarke saw her. 

Lexa had taken the stage. 

The blonde swallowed and sat up straighter, crossing her legs as she listened intently to Lexa speak. It was the most she had heard the brunette talk, and Clarke had grown to like her voice. It was smooth but intimidating, it was soft yet fierce, and she could only imagine how the girl sounded when she was pissed off. It was a sound that she wanted to hear a lot more of. 

Lexa was the last to audition and Clarke let out a sigh of relief when Anya announced that they could go home. She packed up her things and looked back to the spot where she had left her friends, but Octavia and Raven were nowhere to be seen. Shaking her head, she decided to walk out of the school with Lincoln and Lexa. 

“So… I take it that was your first audition?” Lexa asked, a smirk playing at her face as she walked between Clarke and Lincoln. The close proximity with someone Clarke was slowly becoming infatuated with was overwhelming. 

“Am I just that bad at hiding things?” Clarke asked, the question was directed towards Lincoln instead of Lexa. Lincoln chuckled, but nodded. The blonde sighed and turned her attention back towards Lexa. “Yes. It was. I’ve never auditioned for something in my life and I was terrified that I had to get up there and do that. I thought I was going to shit myself. In that moment- I really wished that I had picked wood shop over drama because I can’t act to save my life.” Clarke rambled, talking with her hands and not focusing where she was going. 

Lexa was looking at the blonde with a look of amusement. She thought it was cute, how Clarke tended to go on and on. Lincoln, however, was still laughing at the girl. He thought that it was funny how she was seeming to make a fool of herself when she was usually so calm and collected about everything and everyone. It seemed like putting Clarke anywhere near Lexa would diminish that aspect of her; the fact that the girl was a sport-playing, self-proclaimed “badass” went entirely out the window and the blonde was smitten. Lexa, however, didn’t know any of this at this point. 

Clarke soon finished her rambling as they exited the school and she blushed, seeing how Lexa was listening to her. She didn’t even realize she was rambling, the words just kept coming out of her mouth and she didn’t seem to know how to stop them. She didn’t want to make any more of a fool of herself.

“So.. Juliet, huh? You and Octavia are some pretty good choices.. I wonder how Anya’s going to choose.” Clarke offered as a topic, wanting to get the spotlight off of herself for once. She didn’t want to make a fool of herself any more than she probably already did. 

“Well, we weren’t the only ones to audition for that role. But I do think that we both have a decent chance at obtaining it.” Lexa explained, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. Clarke really should have paid better attention to everyone auditioning, but she really didn’t care if she got a part in the play or not. She had only auditioned because she had to. 

“I don’t think Clarke was paying attention much.. She was too busy panicking.” Lincoln chimed in, and when Clarke looked over to him the boy had a smirk on his face. “Poor girl looked like she was going to throw up when she walked away from Octavia and her girlfriend.” 

Lexa laughed at his comment and Clarke’s blush deepened. Lincoln seemed to be out to make fun of her and she couldn’t believe him- she thought she could trust him. She sent a glare his way which only made Lexa laugh more, but if Clarke was being honest she’d take the humiliation from Lincoln if it meant Lexa laughing. It was a melodic sound and she really, really wanted to hear more of it. 

They continued the walk into the parking lot and ended up passing Bellamy’s truck first, which was almost surprising. Clarke didn’t expect him to park so close to the school; but she assumed that Raven had moved it once the population of their school cleared out, making the parking lot a lot more empty. She walked up to the door and went to open it, but a look of disgust crossed her face upon reaching the window. Seated in the passenger seat was Octavia, which was normal, but Raven was seated atop of her and from Clarke’s point of view it seemed as though Raven was trying to suck Octavia’s soul out through her mouth. Lincoln walked up behind her and his eyes widened, but Lexa only laughed at the looks on their faces. 

Clarke huffed and banged on the door, getting the two’s attention. She opened the door with an arched brow and Raven struggled to climb over the console, sitting in the drivers seat. 

“Did you two really have to try to get it on in the car? It couldn’t wait until we got back home?” Clarke asked, crossing her arms. 

“Hey- it’s not my fault my girlfriend is hot when she’s in her element.” Raven piqued, winking in Octavia’s direction. 

Clarke fake gagged. “You two are incredulous.”   
Octavia rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Clarke. You’re just jealous that you can’t get any.” 

“I totally can!” 

“Really?” 

“Okay- enough.” Raven interjected. “Are you going to introduce us to your friends, or..?” 

Clarke glanced to her side and, just as Raven stated, Lincoln and Lexa were still standing next to her. “Oh.. Sorry. Um, this is Lexa, she’s in O’s and my drama class. And that’s her brother, Lincoln.” 

Lexa smiled at the two of them and waved, and Lincoln only nodded with a small smile. Clarke could tell that he wasn’t very expressionful towards those he just met. It seemed to be a pattern occurring, but she didn’t mind it all that much. What mattered was that he was there when someone needed him, and he listened. Which she was grateful for. 

“Wait.. He’s your brother? How-”

“Foster brother, but we’ve been together since we were four.” Lexa cut Raven off, having heard that question way too many times for her liking. 

“I bet a lot of people think you’re dating.” Octavia commented, straightening up the seat. Clarke moved to open the back door and set her bag on the seat. 

“You’d be surprised.” Lincoln stated plainly, moving to walk away. “I’ll be right back, Lex. Grabbing the bike.” 

Lexa nodded and turned back towards the group, the smile still evident on her face. “Don’t mind him- he’s really a big softie. He tries to act all mysterious but really he’s a giant puppy dog.” 

Octavia smiled. “He definitely plays the mysterious part well. I know Anya said you were knew- where’re you guys from?” 

“Washington D.C. Our foster mom used to work in the Smithsonian but she got transferred here when they opened a new museum.” Lexa continued to explain more about her mother’s job and answered the other questions that Raven or Octavia had, but Clarke found herself staring at the girl. 

Something about her wanted to memorize Lexa’s features. The way her eyes lit up when a certain subject was brought up. The way her brow furrowed when she had to think a little harder. She was patient with her friends; answering the questions that she wanted to answer and politely refusing the questions she didn’t. Clarke was definitely intrigued by Lexa and she wanted to know everything about her. If only she was brave enough to do so. 

They were cut off when a loud engine started to rev from the other side of the building, and all eyes turned to the paved driveway that connected the front and the back of the school. Lexa grinned when she saw a man on a motorcycle come barrelling around the school, while the other three were confused. The man came towards them and Clarke almost screamed, but the man came to a stop a few feet in front of the truck. He removed his helmet revealing a smug looking Lincoln, and Clarke glared at him again. 

“Not cool, dude. That was terrifying.” Clarke commented. 

“I thought it was hot.” 

“Nobody asked you, O.” 

Octavia smirked and took Raven’s hand in her own. 

Lincoln chuckled at the interaction and reached into the bag connected to the back of his motorcycle and pulled out a spare helmet, handing it to Lexa. Lexa pulled it on and strapped it under her chin, slipping onto the bike behind her brother. Her arms wrapped around his torso and she was snug against him- if Clarke didn’t know any better she would have assumed that she was hugging her boyfriend from behind. That’s probably what a lot of the school thought. 

“I’ll talk to you later, guys.” Lexa smiled and waved with one hand, before her hand removed back around Lincoln. The bike revved again and he pulled off, in the opposite direction that the girls had to go in. They were headed towards the less populated part of town, where there was more trees and parks than pavement and buildings. That alone made Clarke wonder. 

“So how long is it going to take you to ask her for her number?” Octavia asked as Clarke pulled herself into the back seat. She rolled her eyes and shut the door, looking out the window as Raven buckled herself in and started the truck. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, O.” 

“Please. Anyone within a fifty mile radius knows you’ve got it bad for Lexa. I saw it on the first day and I saw it today. If you don’t get her number, I’m going to personally get it for you.” 

Clarke’s eyes shot to Octavia in the front seat. “You wouldn’t.” 

“Try me, Griffin.” Octavia smirked and turned around, facing the front. 

“Come on, Clarke. It’s not that hard- I’m sure if you ask she’ll give it to you. She seems nice.”   
“Lincoln seemed pretty nice, too.” 

“Yeah, but you’re taken, love.” 

Clarke tuned out her friends and continued out the window, thinking about the interactions that they had that day. Sure, it may of seemed strange that she was taking such a quick liking to Lexa and Lincoln. But that nagging feeling in the back of her mind kept telling her that it was going to be okay. That she was having that interest for a reason, and God only knew what that reason was. As she looked between the seats to where Octavia and Raven were holding hands that feeling grew stronger, and she knew that she was going to have to gain the confidence she needed soon. She had to get Lexa’s number, she just had to. 

Part of it felt like it was fate, finally giving her something that she could get herself and be happy about.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callbacks and Lexa's POV. A little bit of Lexa and Lincoln's past is revealed and you've got some sibling bonding, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait between updates, guys. School and writers block sucks. Hope you like it, nonetheless.

Lexa was still trying to get used to the new route that she and Lincoln would take home. The area was a lot more wooded, much different than the suburban streets that they lived on in D.C. Her head rested gently against her brothers back, watching as the trees blurred into a mix of green and brown. The colors hadn't started to change yet, but that was something she was looking forward to. She always loved the fall. 

The drive was short but sweet, and soon enough they were pulling into the long dirt road that she was slowly becoming used to. The road was more of a driveway; lined with various weeds and wildflowers that had grown over the weeks they had been there. Lincoln would probably end up mowing the lawn that day. She never understood why but her brother enjoyed doing the chores around the house. 

As they pulled up to the large, farm-like home Lexa released a sigh, feeling Lincoln’s legs move from the bike to push them to a stoic position. She hopped off the back as he turned off the bike, and in one swift movement she removed her helmet and put it back in the bag attached to the bike. She was glad that Lincoln had taken the time to get the bike; it was something that they couldn’t really have in D.C. because of the traffic and everything else. She was lucky if she ever got a chance to attempt to drive. 

She waited for him to throw his backpack over one shoulder and they walked into the front door together, the wooden steps squeaking slightly under their feet. The door was unlocked and open, with only the screen door blocking the outside world from the inside. Having a screen door was something entirely new to Lexa, too. 

In D.C., they lived in a very basic townhome, with three bedrooms and no basement or attic. It was in the middle of suburbia, where everyone had a neighbor and at least one car that nobody ever really used because everyone either walked or took the subway. They lived not too far away from the Smithsonian museum, which meant that traffic was always hectic and nobody wanted to deal with that. She remembered walking with Lincoln every morning to the metro, where they would spend an hour or so just riding the train to get to school. It was time consuming, but Lexa appreciated it. It was something so.. Normal that added to her daily routine. 

Her foster mother, Indra, was a museum director- one of the best for the Smithsonian. She loved her job and loved talking to people, informing them of everything that had to do with history. She’d help bring in new pieces, or provide tours for the various buildings. She was one of those people that knew so much about everything, it didn’t matter which building she was in. She could give tours of all of them. Lexa always admired the passion that she got from her mother. 

They had to move when Indra was told about a new museum opening up in Arkadia, West Virginia, and was asked if she’d like to become the director at that new museum. She’d be given almost full control of what went into the museum and the traveling exhibits, and she knew she’d be crazy not to pass it up. That night was hard for Lexa and Lincoln, knowing that they’d have to pack up their things and move away from their friends to a new town, a new state, and start their junior and senior year at an entirely new school. They managed to get through it, just for the sake of the person who gave up so much for them over the years. When they moved they decided against suburbia, instead buying a house in the woods, surrounded by foliage and forest. It was a simple two-story house with so much space that they didn’t know what to do with it all, but it was a nice change.

As they walked into the house the smell of tomato sauce and garlic was filling the air, making their little farmhouse feel a little more home-y. Lexa grinned and removed her shoes at the door, set her backpack on the stairs and headed right into the kitchen. Indra turned as the two entered, a grin on her face. 

“There you two are- I was wondering when you were going to get home. How were auditions?” Indra asked, turning her back to continue working on what she was making. 

Lincoln immediately went to help her, earning a smile from his foster mother as he grabbed a pot and started to fill it with water. Lexa hopped onto the counter, crossing her legs as she faced the back of her family. “They went really well- there was a lot of competition but I think I did a pretty good job.” 

“Really? That’s great. I’m sure Anya will pick a great cast.” 

“It depends if you count the kids that purposely bombed their audition, though.” Lincoln piqued, earning a raised brow from Indra. 

“A few kids actually did that?” 

“Auditioning for the play is a requirement for the drama class. A few kids thought that if they bombed their audition they could at least be backstage or just not do the play altogether.” Lexa explained, watching as Lincoln moved the pot to the stove and turned on the burner. 

“Well that’s ridiculous, but also pretty smart if I do say so myself. I know that I’m not the best actress in the world, but if it’s a requirement I’d try my hardest to not get cast. Lord knows that I’d end up tripping over my lines.” Indra commented, and Lincoln chuckled. 

“You sound like you’d get along great with Clarke.” 

“Who’s Clarke?” 

Lexa blushed and shifted in her seat, moving to sit Indian Style on the counter. “She’s a girl in my drama class- she’s not like, super good at acting but she’s.. Okay. I don’t think she really wants to be in the class, though.” 

“Why do you say that?” 

“She doesn’t pay attention in class and from what I’ve heard she’s really into sports..” 

“Ahh, so like Costia?” Indra asked, turning towards Lexa for a brief moment. 

“..Yeah. Like Costia.” Lexa’s smile fell as she looked to the floor, folding her hands in her lap. She didn’t like to talk about Costia a lot. 

“You know, Lex, Clarke reminds me a lot about her.” Lincoln stated, moving away from the stove to stand next to Lexa. “She’s.. Definitely something. A mystery, kind of.” 

“Says the guy who can read her like a book.” 

“I’m just saying, there’s something about her that just screams.. Costia. And it’s not just the fact that they both play sports.” Lincoln stated, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl behind Lexa and going to walk into the living room. 

Lexa thought about what Lincoln had said and swallowed thickly. Lincoln was right, Clarke did have a lot of similar attributes with Costia. But that didn’t mean that Clarke would ever replace Costia- nobody could. With a shake of her head she stepped down from the counter and after telling Indra she’d be working on homework, she headed upstairs to her room; her backpack in tow. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Thursday morning had Lexa waking up to the sound of birds chirping out her window and her alarm clock blaring from the other side of the room. She sat up with a sigh, running her hand through tangled locks and a tired body to walk over and shut off the annoying machine. She hated her alarm clock, but it was either have the annoying sound or music, but she knew if she woke up to music that it would only be incorporated in her dream somehow and she wouldn’t end up waking up on time. She stared at her clock for a brief moment, wondering if she’d have enough time to hit snooze and fall back asleep, but when she realized what day it was the thought of falling back asleep snapped her out of it. 

It was the day of callbacks. 

Immediately feeling awake she took to showering and picking out her clothes before all but bouncing down the stairs, meeting Lincoln and Indra in the kitchen for breakfast. The grin she had on her face seemed to be glued there, like nothing could stop her from being excited. She was never nervous about callbacks, always excited. Even if she didn’t get one. She was excited for those who did, knowing that if they got the part that they wanted, they’d be happy and grateful. Besides, she knew that if she didn’t get a callback, that didn’t necessarily mean that she didn’t get a part. Even if she was really, really hoping that she did.   
As she and Lincoln headed outside to start the day, a light fog had wafted in surrounding their home. It took a few tries and the help of their cellphone lights to find Lincoln’s bike, and when they did the older boy was glad that he had covered it the night before. The tarp was coated in water drops, showing that the cause of the fog was from a light rainstorm that morning. They were still getting used to everything that didn’t involve the city, so the smell that the trees created after it rained was still semi-new to the two of them. Lexa took a moment to take it all in, admiring what she could through the fog. 

They made it to school in one piece; being grateful that Lincoln’s motorcycle was loud enough to make any students that were lingering in the parking lot move to the sidewalk. They had fifteen minutes before the bell rang, but Lexa was growing more and more impatient as the time went. She wouldn’t be able to look at the callback list until her drama class. 

As she slipped off her brother’s motorcycle and put her helmet away she waited patiently for him, despite her mind running a mile a minute. It seemed like Lincoln was purposely taking his time to make the morning go by slower, and Lexa almost smacked him. He laughed and linked arms with her and led them into the school, Lexa almost having a skip in her step. 

It seemed like her first few hours were dragging on; causing her to look at the clock every five minutes. It was driving her insane and she was constantly shaking her knee, without a doubt earning glares from her neighboring students who found that particular movement annoying. She wasn’t going to be able to focus until she found out if she had a callback or not. She found herself constantly distracted in each of her classes and she actually had to be told to pay attention more than once. 

Soon enough it was time for her drama class and Lexa didn’t even bother waiting for Lincoln after her previous class. She sent him a quick “sorry” text before she all but ran towards the classroom, not paying attention to where she was going. Before she knew it she was on the ground in the hallway with a book that she didn’t remember carrying in her hands, and she furrowed her brow as she stood. She was holding a sketchbook, which was strange because she didn’t own a sketchbook. 

“Looks like I’m not the only one who needs to pay more attention, aye Lex?” Clarke chuckled, slowly pulling herself up to her feet. “We’ve got to stop running into each other.. Literally.” 

Lexa’s smile was shy and she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah.. sorry. I was.. Kind of in a hurry. Callbacks are posted and I’m just.. Really excited.” Lexa explained, looking down. “Oh! This is yours.. I didn’t know you could draw.” 

Green eyes watched as Clarke attempted to be smooth as she took her sketchbook gently, then leaned against the wall next to the door. “I do.. On occasion. It’s kind of a hobby.” 

“Maybe I could see them sometime?” 

Clarke paled a little and Lexa had to keep from laughing. 

“I uh- yeah, totally. I’d like that a lot. Um.. Maybe I could get your number, we could plan something?” Clarke asked, looking just a little too eager. If Lexa didn’t find this girl infuriatingly adorable she probably would of thought this was a joke. 

“Of course. Let me see your phone.” When handed the device Lexa put in her number and gave the blonde back her phone before she gave a gentle goodbye and headed inside; assuming that Clarke was going to wait for Octavia. 

As she walked up to the front of the board where a small crowd had gathered, she learned that Octavia was already there, waiting impatiently just like herself. She heard a few gasps of “yes” and a few groans of displeasure coming from the small crowd but that only made her want to see the list all the more. When it was finally her turn to look at the list she held her breath, allowing her eyes to scan over the the list. 

__**Callback List for Romeo and Juliet:  
Romeo:** Cage Wallace, John Murphy  
 **Juliet:** Octavia Blake, Lexa Woods  
 **Mercutio:** Kyle Wick, Wells Jaha  
 **Nurse:** Clarke Griffin, Maya Vie   
Please understand if you are not called back that does not mean that you did not get a role. Callbacks are purely to test the chemistry between actors on the stage and will help me decide the final cast. Cast list will be posted tomorrow. Break a leg, everyone! 

“Why the hell does she want us to break a leg?” 

Lexa almost let out a scream. She had gotten lost looking at the paper that she forgot other people were in the room. She glanced over her shoulder at Clarke, who seemed to be surprised that her name was on the list. She let out a soft chuckle and turned towards the blonde, leading her towards the circle of chairs. She picked a seat where Clarke would be in between herself and Octavia and crossed her leg. 

“She doesn’t mean it literally. It’s an actor's way of saying good luck, because saying good luck is bad luck.” 

“But you just said it twice.” 

“I was explaining the meaning to you.” 

“So it doesn’t mean bad luck if you’re explaining it to someone? How does that work?” 

Lexa sighed and tried to be patient. “It’s.. complicated. You’ll get the hang of it soon enough.” She tried to end the conversation, and she swore she heard Octavia’s laugh from a few seats down. 

“Here, let me break it down for ya, C. Lexa- break a leg at auditions later. Even though I’m going to kick your ass.” 

“So Octavia just meant good luck?” 

Lexa nodded. “Yeah.” 

“You drama geeks are confusing as hell.” 

Lexa could only laugh as class started with Anya walking into the center of the circle. Lexa was able to focus better now that she knew that she had a callback- and for Juliet, no less- and she was even able to actively participate in class, volunteering herself for the game that they played and other things. Anya seemed to like her, so deep down Lexa was really, really hoping that she would have a better chance at getting Juliet than Octavia, even if it would seem like an unfair advantage. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Do you always pace when you’re nervous?” 

“Screw you- I’m not nervous!” 

“Clarke, you’re sweating more that you were at auditions-” 

“-And your point is?” 

“It’s not like it’s a date or anythi-” 

“Shut up, Raven!” 

Lexa sighed, looking over at the group of bickering friends. Clarke had asked Lincoln to help her go over the script for the callback and he agreed, but he kept making comments or pointing out things that she was doing wrong or how she could improve. To put it simply, Clarke did not take it lightly. At some point Raven and Octavia had joined them, and the two of them were joining in on the belittling of Clarke while she prepared for auditions. Lexa had all the lines for the callback memorized- it was quite simple to that of the original audition- so she was taking in the sight of this group of people as they interacted as if they knew each other for years. She knew that most of them did, but the way that they included Lincoln into their group so easily, it made her heart swell. 

Lincoln was never good at making friends. He was overprotective, always looking out for her and barely made time for himself, so it was nice to see how well he was interacting with them all. She figured it had to do with the way that his eyes would linger a little too long on Octavia, or the way that he would go out of his way to talk to her, and when things clicked she heard a small warning sign go off at the back of her mind. When Octavia and Clarke were called in for a chemistry read together, Raven took to an empty couch in the lobby and Lexa took that free chance to call her brother over. 

“Lincoln.” Lexa stated, earning the attention of a few people (including Lincoln) of those who wanted to try and listen in. She sighed heavily. “beja come hir.” _[Please come here.]_

“Must you use Trigedasleng against me?” He asked, running his hand over his head as he walked over to her. 

“It’s the only way we can speak without others listening.” 

When they were growing up, Lincoln noticed that people always seemed to have something to say about him or his sister, and it always got on his nerves. People would listen in on their private conversations and would take things the wrong way, choosing instead to spread rumors about them and attempt to make things weird or wrong for them. So after a lot of persuasion and a month of talking it over with Lexa, they came up with their own language that they used to use frequently, but only used rarely now. Not even Indra knew what certain words meant. 

Lincoln sighed, but nodded. Based on the reaction that they got from other people when she called for him, if this conversation was supposed to be private, there wasn’t another way to go about it. “chit ste em?” _[What is it?]_

Lexa lowered her voice to a whisper, just in case people could pick out key words. “why laik yu staring gon okteivia like bilaik?” _[Why are you staring at Octavia like that?]_

Lincoln’s eyes fell for a moment as he sat down next to Lexa. “yu saw bilaik?” _[You saw that?]_

Lexa nodded. “em ste only a matter gon time fou raven notices em as well.” _[It is only a matter of time before Raven notices it as well.]_

Lincoln took a deep breath and glanced over at Raven, then back at Lexa. His voice was quiet, wanting to make sure only Lexa heard. “ai like her, leksa.ai don a few classes kom her en ai can nou help ba..be attracted kom her.chit laik ai na do about disha? ai can nou just tel her.” _[I like her, Lexa. I have a few classes with her and I can not help but..be attracted to her. What am I going to do about this? I can not just tell her.]_

Lexa licked her lips and looked to the doors where Octavia and Clarke had disappeared to do their callback. She looked back at him with a smile and patted his leg gently. “yu beda talk kom her, biga bro.yu nowe know- mebi em will like yu seintaim.” _[You should talk to her, big brother. You never know- maybe she will like you too.]_

Lincoln was about to say something else but they were cut off by Clarke and Octavia rejoining them. The siblings smiled at them and moved over to rebrand the group, letting them all talk and relax while they waited for the other chemistry reads. It wasn’t taking as long as they all had thought, but it was still dark out by the time Lexa rode off on Lincoln’s motorcycle. As they pulled out of the parking lot she turned towards her (hopefully) new friends and waved, catching Clarke’s eye just before they took off into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if my Trigedasleng is rough- all that is used in this story was provided by a translator.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy's back in time for a football game. Callback list is posted and the rest of the gang returns for the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Look! Another chapter really soon! This one got really long entirely on accident.. whoops? Anyways, hope you enjoy it.

Clarke woke up Friday morning with a pounding headache that she knew was only brought on by nerves. For someone who didn’t claim to care about drama at all, she was both excited and nervous to find out about the cast list. It was a new experience, something she had never done before and the fact that she was actually looking forward to seeing if she got the part or not was both scaring her and exciting her. After getting everything ready for the day she headed downstairs, not surprised to see her friends already gathering in the kitchen while her mother made breakfast. 

“There she is- you ready for tonight?” Bellamy asked, an apple in his hand. Clarke furrowed her brow but took in his appearance, then her eyes widened. 

“Shit- your game is tonight, isn’t it?” Clarke asked, already knowing the answer. In her midst of nerves for the audition she had completely forgot about Bellamy’s game. It wasn’t the first game of the year, but it was the last game that Bellamy would be starting in before homecoming and it meant a lot to him. 

Bellamy wasn’t the best football player in the world- he was better at lacrosse or basketball or soccer because it was something that both he and Clarke played; something that they could help each other get better at. Football was the one sport that Clarke couldn’t play with him and it always took a toll on him, but she tried her best to always cheer him on at the games she could attend. 

“Did you really forget?” He asked. 

“Sorry Bell- my mind is all over the place lately.” Clarke explained, her voice soft. She walked over to the cabinet above the sink and pulled out a bottle of ibuprofen, popping a few into her mouth before she made a plate of her mother’s pancakes. “Starts at seven, right?” 

“You know it. Gina said she’d meet up with you guys at the gate. Hurry up- you woke up late and we gotta get going. O and Raven are already in the truck.” 

Clarke sighed and quickly finished her breakfast and placed her plate in the sink before she gave her mom a hug goodbye and followed Bellamy out to the truck. To no surprise, Octavia and Raven were in the backseat, but luckily they weren’t engaged in a heated liplock this time. She slid into the front seat next to her friend and placed her backpack on the floor between her legs, and instead of engaging in conversation with the other three, she found herself looking outside as the trees past. She hadn’t slept well the past night, and she was unsure if it was nerves or nightmares or what. 

She was snapped out of her thoughts when Bellamy nudged her arm, giving her a look of concern. “Everything okay, C?” 

Clarke nodded and gave him a half smile. “Didn’t sleep very well last night.”  
“Why?” 

“I’m not sure- maybe it’s just nerves or something.” Clarke explained, running a hand through her hair. In her haste to get ready she had apparently forgotten to comb her hair, so she rifled through Bellamy’s glove department for the spare snapback she always found in there specifically for this reason. He was always prepared for his girls- as he liked to say. 

“What are you nervous about? The game?”

“No, you idiot. The cast list goes up today. Although- I am a little surprised as to why she’s nervous about that.. I thought you hated drama, C.” Octavia suggested, leaning between the seats. She wasn’t afraid of being open about drama with Bellamy anymore- she had told her brother the day she told Raven.

“I think she’s more nervous about the amount of time she’ll potentially get to spend with Lexa if she gets the part. Drama kids always spend a lot of time together.” Raven stated from the backseat and Clarke’s cheeks went red. 

“That is _not_ why I’m nervous.” 

“Your blush and the way you were in drama yesterday says otherwise. I know you got her numbers, C.” Octavia smirked, patting Clarke’s shoulder before leaning back in the seat. 

Clarke found herself shaking her head. “You’re incredulous.” 

“Incredible? Yeah, I know.” 

The blonde glared at Octavia over her shoulder. 

“Look- all I’m saying is that I see the way you get around her and you’re more nervous than Bell at a free throw.”

“Hey!” 

“Well it’s true. You get this stupid little smile on your face after you talk to her and you _barely_ talk to her. It’s sickening. And it’s about damn time you do something about it so I’m glad you finally got the balls to do so.” 

Clarke’s glare turned into a smile. “...Thanks Octavia.” 

“No problem. Just remember to mention me in your wedding vows.” 

The glare returned quite quickly after that. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Idle hands fumbled with the combination on her locker and she was getting so frustrated that when it finally opened, she huffed in exasperation. Her books felt like they weighed fifty pounds each and she couldn’t wait to be rid of them for the day. She blamed it on her restlessness the night before, which probably was the actual reason why. She couldn’t stop her excitement for the cast list. 

“Juliet, oh Juliet. For what do I owe this pleasure of such a fair maiden?” 

Lexa looked up to see none other than John Murphy, one of the Romeo’s that she had met the night before while doing chemistry reads. She had thought that he seemed quite self-centered the day before; only doing things to further his own success and it was almost annoying if she had to admit it. 

“The list hasn’t been posted, John. We don’t know who’s Romeo or Juliet.” Lexa countered, rolling her eyes as she placed her books into her locker, and pulled out the ones she’d need for her first few classes. 

“Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong. You see, I happen to be close with fellow auditionee Wells Jaha, and he claims that he’s gotten his hands on the list a few hours early. Perks of being TA for third hour drama, I guess. Anyway,” he glanced around to make sure people weren’t eavesdropping before he stepped closer, tilting his head down. “He told me that it’s highly likely that you and I will be Arkadia High’s Romeo and Juliet.” 

“You’re full of yourself, John.” 

 

“I prefer Murphy, actually.” 

“Whatever. You’re still full of yourself. I’m not trusting any word you say until I see the list or hear it firsthand from Anya herself.” Lexa stated, shutting her locker. She turned to walk away, but Murphy had grabbed the look on her backpack and tugged her back towards him. 

“Let’s make a deal, yeah? If I’m right, which I’m sure I am, and you’re the Juliet to my Romeo, you’ll come to my game tonight. Maybe even wear my jersey if I can see you beforehand.” 

Lexa certainly didn’t like the way that Murphy was looking at her. It sent chills down her spine. She took a step away from him and wrapped her arms around herself. “And if Octavia is Juliet?” 

“Then you’ll never have to talk to me again. If I’m not Romeo, I’m dropping the play.” 

“No wonder people call you overdramatic..” Lexa mumbled under her breath. 

“What?” 

“Nothing. Fine, you’ve got a deal. But I won’t wear your jersey. I’ll go to the game to show my support for the school as a whole, not you in particular. If you’re right, and we are the leads, the only reason why I’ll kiss you is for that reason. So you can stop trying to pick me up, John Murphy, because I am certainly not interested.” 

With that, Lexa turned and walked away without looking back at him, but if she had she would of seen Murphy standing there with an expression on his face that could only be described as a mix of impressed and intrigued. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lexa hated it when other people were right. Her hands wrapped around around her backpack straps as she stood at the front of the drama room, only staring at the list on the board. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed on it, almost attempting to memorize the list. She didn’t even hear other people coming up behind her until she heard one of them talking. 

“Congratulations, Lexa. See you at rehearsals.” She turned her head to see someone she didn’t recognize, but she assumed that his name was on the list. She nodded in return and offered them a smile, but her eyes moved to the door that opened. 

Octavia was moving in a blur it seemed, but soon enough the feisty brunette was at her side, her eyes quickly scanning the list before Clarke even came up behind her. She watched as green eyes fluttered down the names and saw as her breath hitched- assuming she had reached the end where Lexa’s name was there before her own was. Octavia turned to Lexa, a look of defeat in her eyes but she offered her hand to the girl nonetheless. 

“I’m sure if Anya picked you for Juliet, she really believes in you. Congrats.” 

Lexa nodded with a small smile and shook the girl's hand before Octavia walked away, finding a seat in the circle. Clarke stepped up behind her, but she noticed that the blonde hadn’t looked at the list yet. 

“I think you should look at it, Clarke.” 

Clarke looked up at her and nodded, before her eyes turned to the list. 

**_Romeo and Juliet Cast List:_ **   
_**Lady Montague:** Maya Vie  
 _ **Montague:** John Mbege  
 _ **Lady Capulet:** Octavia Blake  
 _ **Capulet:** Nathan Miller  
 _ **Prince Escalus:** Jackson James  
 _ **Count Paris:** Cage Wallace   
_**Nurse:** Clarke Griffin  
 _ **Friar Laurence:** Gustus Treid  
 _ **Benvolio:** Wells Jaha  
 _ **Tybalt:** Finn Collins  
 _ **Mercutio:** Kyle Wick  
 _ **Juliet:** Lexa Woods  
 _ **Romeo:** John Murphy  
 _Rehearsals begin on Monday. We will be going over the script as well as discussing requirements for this performing season. Congratulations to all, and I look forward to seeing you on Monday.______________

_____________Clarke looked to Lexa with a look that the brunette couldn’t read. “What’s wrong?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke swallowed and looked between the list to Lexa. “I got a part. I actually.. Got a part.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Aren’t you happy about that?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I mean… I guess I am. I’ve never acted before, this is all new and I guess I’m kind of.. Indifferent, about it? I don’t think that’s the right word..” She shook her head and cleared her throat. “Uh.. I’m sorry you have to go against Murphy. He’s kind of a dick.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“You’re telling me- I made a deal with him over this stupid list!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke’s eyes widened. “You did? What was the deal?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Someone told him that we’d get the leads and he said that if he was right I’d have to go to his game tonight. He tried to get me to wear his jersey but-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“You said no, right? About his jersey, I mean.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Well-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Clarke! Stop distracting our Juliet and take a seat.” Anya stated as she walked into the circle._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“But we were-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“I don’t want to hear it. One more word out of you and you’ll have to sit next to me in the circle.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“But-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Anya gave her a look and pointed to two empty seats, and with a huff Clarke walked over to it. Lexa was muffling her laughs behind her hand as she walked over to a different empty seat, across from Clarke. She watched as the blonde seemed to actually be _pouting,_ with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes staring right at the ground in front of her. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Don’t pout, Clarke. You look like a child.” Anya stated, a smirk playing at her lips as she turned to address the rest of the class. “Now- who’s turn is it to lead today?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________A young man stood up and gave her a smile as he handed her the clipboard. “Attendance has already been taken, Anya.” Anya nodded at him and went to take a seat next to Clarke, who was trying her hardest to sit as far away from Anya as possible. Anya wasn’t having it and wrapped her hand around the leg of Clarke’s chair, pulling her back to the seats original location._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“What song have you picked for us to stretch to, Nathan?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Nathan smiled at her and turned towards the class, walking in a small circle. “The song I chose is called Anna Sun, by the band Walk the Moon. I chose it because it was the song that was playing in the background when my boyfriend asked to be his boyfriend last year, and it holds a lot of memories.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke begrudgingly went through the motions of the stretches, then the game that Nathan had picked for them. By the time it was all over Clarke was ready to just take a nap, but Anya had other plans for them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“We’re going to be going over the project that we’ll be working on for the next week. One on one scenes are in almost every play, musical, or television show that there is. They’re inevitable to avoid and work best when you and your partner are on the same page. A few of you experienced this last night at the callbacks. For this project I will be picking your partners at random via names in a hat. When I call you and your partner’s name please get together and wait until everyone has a partner, then we will decide at random whether you will be given a comedy, a drama, or a tragedy piece.” Anya explained, bringing out a hat of names._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke groaned and pretended to fall asleep in her chair until someone walked over to her. She hadn’t noticed until it was too late, and the person had slowly pushed Clarke’s chair back until the blonde was falling backwards, her chair and back hitting the ground with a thud._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Ow- what the hell Octavia?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“I don’t mess around with partner projects. Get up, C. We’ve got chemistry to prepare.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke sighed. Of _course_ she’d get picked to be with her drama-crazy best friend. She really wasn’t looking forward to the next week._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke was able to get a few hour nap in before Bellamy’s game and she couldn’t of been more happy about it. Now that she didn’t have the nerves from finding out about the cast list, she was able to finally relax. Once she was rested and able to comprehend more than a few words at a time she started to get ready, opting for her lacrosse hoodie from the previous season with skinny jeans and a black and grey snapback going atop her head. The weather was getting colder each day and she had a feeling that she was really going to need her sweatshirt that night._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________She walked downstairs to see Raven and Octavia already there (when weren’t they, though?) and talking with her mom about the game that night. Octavia was wearing Bellamy’s football sweatshirt with “Blake” written across the back and Raven was.. Well, Raven seemed to be wearing at least three layers of long sleeves in some way or another. She had a flannel tied around her waist and a plain black zip up hoodie on, but over that was her jacket. Clarke shook her head at her friend and leaned against the counter, listening in on the conversation they were having._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“So Lexa got the part?” Abby asked, smiling at Clarke when she noticed the blonde._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Yeah- but I mean, she was pretty good. I don’t know where the hell she came from but man, I haven’t seen anybody act like that here.” Octavia said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“I’m glad you don’t seem too upset about it; I’m sure if it was anyone else you probably would've bitched them out.” Raven commented, linking hands with Octavia._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“What do you expect? It’s a great part- yeah I’m bummed I didn’t get it but there’s nothing I can do about it now. At least I got a part.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Why is it when they swear it’s alright but when I do it I get cussed out?” Clarke asked, furrowing her brow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Because they’re not my kids.” Abby smirked and when Octavia went for a high five, she gave it to her. Clarke huffed and shook her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Can I use the car tonight?” Clarke asked, pulling on her boots. “Bell drove to practice and I don’t want to walk home after the game.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“What about the after party? You know Murphy always has one whether we win or lose.” Raven asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Who says I’m going to be drinking?” Clarke commented._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“You better not be drinking if you’re driving my car. You know I don’t care about that stuff if you’re being safe but I don’t want you taking my car if you’re going to drink.” Abby stated, pulling her keys from her purse._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“I know, mom. But I didn’t plan on drinking. I know Bell will probably crash at John’s but if they,” she nodded towards Octavia and Raven, “start drinking I know Aurora will have my ass handed to me if I don’t get them home safe.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Language, please.” Abby smiled as she handed Clarke her keys._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Yeah, yeah. I know. Let’s go guys- love you mom!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Once they all piled into her mom’s car and drove to the stadium, they met up with Bellamy’s girlfriend, Gina. They had been dating on and off for two years; the off parts usually being in the summer when Gina would travel with her parents and she and Bellamy had agreed to be off during those times just in case Gina’s heart was captured by someone else. Bellamy never minded; he knew that the relationship would probably end for good when he graduated but it was nice to have someone there during the school year._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“How was Rome?” Clarke asked once they bought their tickets and headed into the stadium. Gina was wearing a sweatshirt with Bellamy’s practice jersey over it; Gina was always happy to wear Bell’s jersey._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“It was great, all of it. The food, the people,” She sent a suggestive wink towards Clarke, “the scenery. I loved it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Sounds like you had a lot of fun.” Clarke commented, nodding her head. She didn’t always agree with the agreement that Bellamy and Gina had, but as long as her friend was happy then she had to be happy for him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________They filled their pockets with candy from the concessions stand and headed up into the stands, taking a seat at the top where they could see the whole stadium. It was a nice vantage point to see everything that was happening on the stands without having to constantly turn their heads back and forth. It wasn’t long before Monty and Jasper joined them, with a girl that Clarke had recognized from callbacks following them. Upon further inspection she noticed that she was holding hands with Jasper._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Guys, this is my girlfriend, Maya. Maya, these are my friends- Octavia, Clarke, and Gina. You already know Raven. Maya’s in robotics with us this year.” He explained, smiling as they sat down in front of Raven and Octavia, with Monty sitting in front of Clarke. He didn’t look happy, but Clarke knew better than to make a comment about it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________It was halfway through the first half when Clarke finally stood up to refill her pocket of candy. Arkadia was down, 0-18 and while it didn’t seem like much, she knew how it was probably affecting Bellamy. She got up and walked down the stands, shoving her hands into her pockets as she walked. The game was frustrating her and she knew if she didn’t take a breather that she wouldn’t be able to refrain herself from marching over to the ref every time he called a penalty._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________As she stood in line for the concession stand she found herself scrolling idly on her phone until she smelled something faint, but familiar and turned in place to see the source of it. She grinned up at Lincoln and refrained from going to hug him, knowing it was probably strange, but she had found comfort in his smell on the days that she had skipped lunch to smoke with him under the bleachers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“I didn’t think Lexa was actually going to follow up on that deal of hers with Murphy.” Clarke commented, looking over her shoulder to look at the line._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“I didn’t think she would either.” Lincoln replied simply, shrugging his shoulders. His sweatshirt seemed to slide down one of his shoulders but he didn’t make any move to pull it back up. Clarke felt a small annoyance towards it, but didn’t voice her opinion._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“So she _is_ here?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Do you really think I’d show up to one of these by myself?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Not a sports fan, eh?” Clarke asked, fumbling with her wallet in the pocket of her hoodie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Not really, no. I’m only here because of Lex.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke took the time to buy as much candy as she could and a few cans of soda before she was done at the concessions stand, but she waited for Lincoln. He had gotten himself nachos and a few candy bars that he assumed was for Lexa, as well as a few drinks before he was done as well._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Where are you guys sitting?” Clarke asked as they rounded the stairs to the bleachers. Lincoln nodded towards a few steps up, where Lexa was sitting in what seemed to be a slightly oversized flannel and ripped skinny jeans. It wasn’t something that she would wear to class and Clarke immediately felt flustered. “I uh.. You guys could join us, if you want. The gang and I, I mean. We’re up there.” She stated, pointing towards the corner where her friends sat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________She could hear Lincoln hum before he started up the bleachers, and Clarke couldn’t help but follow him. He stopped next to Lexa and handed her her candy and soda, before telling her that Clarke had offered them to move. She noticed Lexa look over at her and smile before she nodded, then the three of them made their way back to the rest of the group. Clarke sat down against the chained fence and Lexa sat beside her; and everyone else moved down so Lincoln could sit in between Lexa and Octavia._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke felt her heartbeat speed up a little every time that she and Lexa touched in some way, whether it be a brush of knees or an accidental bumping or something similar. She was so caught up in how she was feeling towards Lexa that she wasn’t paying attention to the game. It wasn’t until she heard Gina cheering from a few people down that she realized that they had scored, and by Bellamy no less._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Despite being a few seconds late to the cheering she stood up and yelled as loud as she could, making as much noise as possible. When she caught Bellamy’s eyes from the field she gave him a thumbs up and smiled brightly at him, earning a smile in return. She was really, really proud of her friend, even if they were still down by twelve points. It was only the second quarter; they still had time to bring themselves back and win the game. Clarke only hoped that that was the case._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________When she sat down she looked over at her friends and frowned when she saw Monty not engaging in conversation. It seemed like Jasper had all his attention on Maya, leaving Monty in the dust. She frowned and nudged him with her boot to get his attention, and when he looked at her she smiled and offered him a few Starbursts._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“How’s your robot going this year?” She asked him as he picked out a few pink ones._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“It’s going great, actually. I managed to work out a few kinks from our bot from last year- we might be able to have moving arms this year. Like, actual working arms. I know last year it didn’t work at the competition but I think if I keep working at this we’ll be able to get them to move by the competition this year.” He explained as he slowly opened the Starbursts wrappers, making sure not to rip them. Clarke noticed that once he managed to get the wrapper open he’d put the candy in his mouth then fold up the paper, placing it in the chest pocket of his shirt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Really? Dude- that’s sweet! I wish I could do stuff like that. The most I’ve been able to do with a robot is break one.” Clarke teased, gently nudging his arm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Monty- did you just say you might be able to get the robot’s arms to move this time?” Raven asked, and then pulled him into a conversation of her own. Clarke smiled at her trying to include him as well._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke sat back against the chains and unwrapped a few Starbursts of her own, but stopped with one halfway to her mouth when she felt Lexa staring at her. She furrowed her brow and looked at the girl by her side, a small smile playing at her face. “What?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“I saw that, you know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Saw what?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“The way you tried to include him. He seemed.. Really down that his friend wasn’t including him in a conversation.” Lexa’s voice had quieted a little so that Monty wouldn’t hear them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Monty’s a great guy and Jasper’s his best friend.. It’s not right that Jasper isn’t talking to him just ‘cause he’s got a new girlfriend. He does this every time he gets one and it makes me want to punch his teeth in every time.” Clarke explained nonchalantly, putting the Starburst in her mouth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Not a lot of people would go out of their way to include others.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“He’s my friend- why wouldn’t I?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Lexa was silent a moment. “Your friends did it with my brother as well.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke leaned forward a little and saw how everyone was interacting with Lincoln. She smiled softly and leaned back, meeting Lexa’s eyes. “We’ve always been like that. Our group has been friends for a while; yeah most of the time it’s just Octavia, Raven, Bell and I but we’re all still a little family. Even if some of them are dating each other.” She made a face. “It’s weird. Forget I said that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Lexa smiled at her and bumped shoulders with her. “Your rambling is cute.” She commented, watching as the blush crawled up Clarke’s cheeks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Psht. No.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Lexa laughed softly until a chill ran down her spine, causing her to wrap her arms around herself. She could feel her goosebumps under the flannel she had on- it really wasn’t enough for the cold nights that were bound to happen more frequently. She rubbed her arms in an attempt to warm herself up, but it wasn’t working._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“The flannel not doing a lot for you?” Clarke asked, going to open a package of Reese’s._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Do you have a freaking Chocolate Factory in your pocket?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“You answer my question, and I’ll answer yours.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Lexa sighed. “No, it’s not. It’s Lincoln’s flannel; I thought it would be enough but it’s not. West Virginia is a lot colder than Washington D.C. at night.” She chuckled softly, and shook her head, looking over at Clarke. “Now answer my question.”  
Clarke looked over at her and shrugged, pulling out her small pile of candy from her pocket. “Not a Chocolate Factory, just a bunch of sweets to get me through the game so I don’t go nuts. Football’s important to Bell.” She claimed, shrugging again. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________She felt a small gust of wind blow through the stands and when she saw Lexa shiver again, she knew she had to do something. Since she already had the pile of candy out of her sweatshirt she slowly started to pull it up over her head, and with a small smile she placed it in Lexa’s lap._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Lexa was confused when Clarke started to pull off her top but was quickly distracted by the sliver of pale skin peeking out of the girl’s t-shirt underneath. She bit her lip and blinked a few times when the sweatshirt was placed in her lap, giving the blonde a confused look. “..Clarke?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Put it on- you’re really cold, I can tell. It’s only going to get colder tonight.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“What about you?” Lexa asked, frowning at the girl._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke hummed and took a starburst, throwing it over at Raven. “Gimme your flannel.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“What happened to your sweatshirt?” Raven asked, leaning forward as she untied her flannel from around her waist. She handed it over and saw Lexa pulling Clarke’s sweatshirt over her head, and she smiled knowingly at Clarke. “Oh, I see. Just give it back later, yeah?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Clarke nodded and pulled the flannel on, then turned so her back was against the side fence instead of the back. She looked over at Lexa and her eyes widened a little as she took in the girl in her clothes. The sweatshirt was a little big on Lexa, but Clarke assumed that was because it was big on her as well. Lexa looked _good_ in her sweatshirt, Clarke had to admit that. She ran her tongue over her suddenly-dry lips and bit her bottom one; she couldn’t help but glance Lexa over before she met green eyes. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Better?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Lexa smiled and nodded her head, turning so she could lean against Clarke’s front. It was a bold move, but when she felt Clarke’s breathing hitch ever so slightly then felt the blonde relax, she knew it was a good idea._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“Much better.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy's party for after the football game. Clarke is a mess around Lexa (what else is new) and Raven gets upset about things.   
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Alcohol consumption, mentions of drug use and violence.

Bellamy ended up winning the game for the school and Clarke watched from the stands as people congratulated him and patted him on the back. People in the stands started to clear out but she and the rest of her friends always waited until the game was over to head to the after party, once most of the post-game traffic had cleared out. Sure, it made them late to the party but they never really went to hang out with the other people. They were there almost for reputational reasons, but if she was honest Clarke hated almost everyone that went to Murphy’s parties that she didn’t consider a friend. 

“Are you guys going to the after party?” Monty asked, turning around on the bench to face Lexa and Lincoln. “It’s at Murphy’s place- not too far from here. We could probably walk if we had to.” 

Lexa looked to her brother who shrugged his shoulders and gave the brunette a look that read “your choice”. She then turned to look at the rest of the group, almost hesitant to answer. Was it such a good idea to throw themselves into this group of friends so soon? What if something bad happened? She must of been lost in thought again because she felt Clarke’s hand on her knee, getting her attention. 

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. There’s going to be quite a lot of people there- all the football team and cheerleading team is going. Since they go a lot more people show up with them.” The blonde explained, squeezing Lexa’s knee. 

“How does John manage to hold that many people in his house?” She asked. 

“It’s a really, really big house.” 

Lincoln patted her other thigh to get her attention. “leksa, ai get a kind gon foto vibe kom disha idea.” _[Lexa, I get a kind of bad vibe from this idea.]_

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Why? do yu nou trust em?” _[Do you not trust them?]_

Lincoln sighed and chewed his lip, glancing around at the people around them. “ai do trust emo kru.ai nou trust mofi's kru.” _[I do trust these people. I do not trust Murphy’s people.]_

“ai want kom go.will yu nou go kom me?” _[I want to go. Will you not go with me?]_

Lincoln saw the way people were looking at them and he sighed, but nodded. “ai will go kom yu, ba only gon ai nou want yu kom ge ona trouble kom out me der kom ge yu out gon em.” _[I will go with you but only because I do not want you to get into trouble without me there to get you out of it.]_ His stoic expression turned into a smirk when he ended his statement and Lexa punched him lightly in the arm. 

“Okay.. What the hell just happened?” Raven asked, speaking on behalf of the rest of the group’s confused expressions. 

“Uh..” Lexa blushed, looking down at her lap. 

“We have a language that we made up when we were little. It’s always stuck- kind of our own personal thing.” Lincoln explained for her, giving his sister a smile before his eyes averted to the bottom of the bleachers, where Bellamy was stepping onto the metal seats. 

“Come on you hooligans- we’ve got a party to go to!” He shouted at them and they all started to stand. 

Once standing, Clarke found herself contemplating what would happen if she took Lexa’s hand. She wanted to know what it was like to hold, to kiss, to feel her touch. It was a scary thought at first because she never really felt like that before. When she dated Finn, he called the shots. He was the one to always make the first move but that was because she thought that was how dating went. The guy would initiate the first kiss, or the hand holding, and everything in between; but that was also what became the downfall of their relationship in the end. Finn became controlling, and it got to the point where Clarke was giving things up for a guy she barely knew. It was a toxic relationship and she was glad to have gotten out of it. But now things were different. Now she felt like she was slowly starting to get to know Lexa, like she was doing things right. And she didn’t want to screw it up. Her eyes fell down to Lexa’s hand as they walked down the bleachers together and she decided against it, not wanting to mess anything up so soon. 

Clarke had told both Lexa and Lincoln that she hadn’t planned on drinking that night so if they needed a ride, she’d be more than willing to drive them home afterwards, but Lexa had told her that they didn’t drink. Clarke found that little tidbit of information strange considering that they were all in high school and Lexa was willingly going to a high school party, but she respected their decision and didn’t push it any further. 

Everyone piled into each other’s cars to head over to the party, but by the time they got there they were forced to park at least a block away because of all the people that had already shown up. Clarke could hear the music coming from Murphy’s house from the sidewalk and it was a surprise that he hadn’t gotten a noise complaint yet. Murphy always went all out when it came to his parties- from the variety of booze to the lack of variety of music- it usually ranged from top 40 to a mix of hip-hop and RnB. Why Clarke continued to come to these parties was beyond her- she never really liked that kind of music but she dealt with it nonetheless. 

The party had only been going on for around a half hour but as the group walked into the house it would seem like it had been going on for a lot longer. Teenagers everywhere seemed to be testing their limits with alcohol and other substances and the smell alone made Clarke’s nose scrunch up. Her eyes scanned the first room, but she could barely see past the herd of dancing teenagers in the middle, all with cups in one hand and their bodies so close it’d be almost impossible to move past them. The blonde headed towards the kitchen after people-watching a moment, and wasn’t surprised to see the lack of drinks for those who weren’t consuming alcohol that night. She settled on a glass of Coke that was supposed to be used for the rum and cokes and leaned against the counter, watching as most of her friends started their night of getting hammered. 

You would think that after doing this same routine every other weekend for a few years straight it would start to get tiring, but most of the time Clarke wasn’t sober. She’d drink along with her friends, play some games if she felt like it and almost always ended up passed out in the back of Bellamy’s truck by the time morning rolled around with a pounding headache and a feeling of death. Sure, the night before was always fun but waking up the next day wasn’t always worth it. She sipped from her cup and moved back into the main room, finding a spot on the couch that wasn’t occupied by some guy trying to get laid that night or stained by who knows what. It was Murphy’s house, after all. 

A few hours later the party was definitely in full swing and Clarke was starting to regret actually coming to the party but not drinking. It wasn’t as fun sober, watching all of her friends laugh and have fun, but here she was, a few sodas in and she still hasn’t left that spot on the couch. People were still dancing and the music didn’t show any signs of letting up any time soon. She looked up from her phone for the first time in a while to see Octavia dancing with someone in the corner, but what surprised her was that it wasn’t Raven with her. Octavia seemed to be up against Lincoln in the cover of the shadows. Clarke looked around the room for any sign of Octavia’s other half but to no surprise, the brunette was nowhere in sight. She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and stood up, beginning to walk around the house to find her friend. 

She didn’t even bother going to look upstairs because nobody went upstairs at Murphy’s parties unless they were hooking up, and Clarke knew that Raven wouldn’t do that to Octavia. The house was huge but Clarke knew the boundaries for every party, and when she didn’t see Raven in any of the rooms (or a few of her other friends, for that matter) she turned towards the back door and headed outside. Immediately she was met with the smell of weed wafting through the air and mixing with the lingering stench of alcohol and chlorine coming from the pool. Shaking her head she walked further out in the backyard, ignoring those who decided that skinny dipping was a good idea and purposely kept away from the pool just in case some idiot thought it’d be a good idea to push her in. 

She ended up walking all the way towards the fire pit near the back of Murphy’s backyard where a fire had been crackling easily. The closer she got to it the less weed she smelled and the more campfire smoke hit her, which she appreciated greatly. There were a few people sitting around the firepit, but they all seemed to be minding their own business so Clarke didn’t pay them any attention. She saw Raven sitting there alone, a beer in her hands but seemed to be forgotten about as the brunette stared at the crackling flames. Clarke sat down next to her with her cup in hand, waiting to see if Raven acknowledged her before she tapped her friends shoulder. 

“What’re you doing out here all alone?” Clarke asked, giving a small smile. 

“Ignoring the fact that my girlfriend would rather grind up against Mr. Dark and Mysterious then even talk to me.” Raven mumbled, not looking away from the fire as she took a swig of her beer. 

“I wasn’t sure if you saw that or not.” 

“It’s kind of hard not to.” Raven’s voice sounded like liquid venom, like she was trying to poison anyone she spoke to. It scared Clarke, hearing her usually bubbly friend talk like this. Raven really loved Octavia. “You don’t think she’s going to hook up with him, do you?” 

Clarke looked down at her almost empty cup. “I don’t think she’d do that. You’re going home with her tonight, remember?” 

“Like that’ll stop her.” 

“You’ve gotta look at the positives, Ray.” 

“What positives? Every time Lincoln comes within twenty feet of her it’s like I’m nothing! I’m losing her to some guy with tattoos who smokes cigarettes and acts like he the brother of Edward Cullen- all tall, dark and broody. How am I supposed to compete with that, Clarke?” Raven asked, turning towards the blonde. She had tears in her eyes and Clarke could tell that she was shaking. She had thrown her almost-empty bottle of beer on the ground, cracking the glass as she let out her frustrations. 

Clarke sighed and reached for Raven’s hand. “I think you need to talk to her once you’re both sober, Raven. Okay?” 

Raven looked hurt, but nodded. They sat in silence by the fire, allowing Raven to slowly start to sober up after Clarke offered her her soda so she wasn’t continuously drinking alcohol. The silence of the night was starting to catch up to them until they heard the back door open roughly over the sound of splashing and people laughing. 

“Leave me alone, Murphy!” 

Clarke immediately stood, turning towards what was happening. She saw Lexa walk out of the house with a cup in her hand and Murphy following quickly after her. She was already on her way to step in when she saw Murphy grab Lexa’s shoulder, pulling her back. 

“Come on, Lex- We gotta kiss anyways, why not get our first one over with? Maybe have a little fun?” Murphy smirked, his hand moving to her side.

As Clarke got closer she saw as Lexa slapped the boy across the face, causing him to stumble back. She was at the edge of the pool and was about to run to the other side but it seemed like time was frozen. 

“You bitch-” 

A fist was thrown. 

A splash- a body in the pool.

A scream. 

By the time Clarke finally made it over to Lexa the brunette had stumbled backwards and her clothes had water on them from the splash and Clarke had to help her up. The music had stopped inside as people started to trickle out of the house to see what the commotion was all about, but Clarke was having none of it. 

“Parties over. If you’re not crashing here tonight, go home.” Clarke announced, helping Lexa up but it seemed to be no use. The brunette had gotten soaked. Clarke sighed and shook her head, looking to the pool where Murphy was being helped out by Wells. She looked to the ground in front of Lexa and saw Lincoln on his knees, obviously drunk. 

“I thought you guys didn’t like drinking.” Clarke mumbled, glancing at Lexa. The look on the girl’s face sent a shiver through Clarke’s spine. If looks could kill, Lincoln would be dead. 

“We don’t.” 

“Well, I’m glad I borrowed my mom’s car.” The blonde sighed and tried her hardest to pull Lincoln up. “I’ll take you guys home. I’ll come by tomorrow morning in Bell’s truck and pick up his bike.” 

Lexa shook her head. “I can’t bring him home like this. Mom will kill us both.” Lexa huffed, grabbing her brother’s hand to check for any bad injuries. 

Clarke thought about it for a moment then turned to her friend. “You guys can stay at mine. I’ll let my mom know- she’ll be understanding.” 

“You don’t have to do that-”

“Lexa, please. I don’t want you guys to get in trouble. Just text your mom or something, say that you’re staying the night at a friends house or something because it was easier than driving all the way home.” 

Lexa looked at her brother then nodded. “Alright.” 

Clarke smiled at Lexa and told her what car was Clarke’s, then the blonde went on to find the friends that she’d be taking home. Once she found both Raven and Octavia she helped them to her mom’s car, where Lincoln was already in the backseat and Lexa was in the passengers. She watched as Raven purposely put herself between Octavia and Lincoln, who both seemed to be confused and in the same state of drunkenness. The ride home was silent, aside from the occasional giggle from Octavia who seemed to be in her own little world as if nothing was wrong. Clarke shook her head and focused on the road, with the occasional glance over at Lexa to make sure her she was okay. Lexa didn’t seem drunk- she seemed as sober as Clarke was. It was good to know that she wasn’t the only one who wasn’t getting hammered at the party.

Once they got to Clarke’s, Raven took the responsibility of making sure Octavia got inside safely and Clarke thanked her for that. She told Lexa she’d be right back as she ran inside, hoping to catch her mom before she went to bed. She was lucky. As she unlocked the door and headed inside she saw Abby in the living room with a single light on, her glasses on her face and a book in her hands. She let out a sigh of relief and stepped forward, a guilty look on her face. When Abby looked up at her, the older woman rolled her eyes. 

“What did you do?” 

“I didn’t do anything, but.. My friend’s brother kinda got.. Really wasted and well, my friend can’t go home with him because their mom will get mad at them.. Can they crash here tonight?” Clarke asked, fiddling with her hands. 

Abby thought about it for a moment. “Clarke..” 

“Please mom? They’re new here and I don’t want them to get in trouble because they decided to go out and have fun at a party.” 

“Okay, alright. But I’m going to bed. So be quiet.” Abby stated, standing up and heading upstairs. 

Clarke did a small fist pump then ran outside to help Lexa with Lincoln. They got him situated in the guest room with the door open, and Clarke even thought ahead to make small signs pointing to the bathroom for him and taped them to the wall in the hallway. From there Lexa followed Clarke into the blonde’s room, where Clarke went to her dresser, searching for things for them to wear to bed. 

“You can wear these,” Clarke started, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. “And the bathroom is through that door.” She pointed to the door that was closed next to her dresser. “I’ll probably crash on the couch downstairs, so if you need anything..” She trailed off, shrugging and grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt for herself to sleep in. 

“Why would you go downstairs?” 

“I just figured..” 

“We’re both girls, we can sleep in the same room, Clarke.” Lexa smiled softly, grabbing the clothes that Clarke had offered her. “I don’t see anything wrong with it.” 

Clarke’s heart jumped in her chest as she nodded, swallowing after. “Yeah, uh, okay. Alright, I’ll sleep in here tonight, then. But I’m going to get changed in the hallway bathroom- can’t have you sneaking a peek, can we?” She joked, earning an amused raised brow from Lexa. 

“Alright, you do that.” 

Clarke watched as Lexa walked into her bathroom and she facepalmed at herself for being so ridiculous. It was _just_ Lexa, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Only Lexa, who had been invading Clarke’s thoughts for the past few weeks since she met the girl. Only Lexa. 

She shook her head and went to get changed in the hall bathroom, and by the time she came back Lexa was laying on her bed, her phone in her hands as she mindlessly scrolled through what Clarke could only assume was either Twitter or Tumblr. She had a hand behind her head and her hair was up in a loose, messy bun- and Clarke had to double check to make sure she was breathing. She shut the door behind her and chewed her lip, stepping closer to her bed and sitting on the side opposite of Lexa. 

They sat in silence for what felt like hours but when Clarke looked at the clock again, it read 1:36 am, only five minutes after the last time she looked at it. She didn’t feel tired at all, but she couldn’t read what Lexa was thinking. She found herself staring at the brunette, wondering what the other girl was thinking. Was she tired? Was she indulging on an e-book, forgetting the world around her? She shook her head and went to turn out the light, when Lexa’s voice from behind her stopped her. 

“Do you ever wish that you could change the past?” 

Clarke furrowed her brow and turned towards Lexa. “What do you mean?” 

“Do you ever wish that you could change the past? Like.. Go back in time, change something that happened and hope that the outcome is the same.” 

Clarke hummed. She really did wish that she could do that. “Yeah, I do.” 

Lexa sat up and placed her phone in her lap, wrapping her arms around herself. She sighed and chewed on her lip, zoning out in thought. As Clarke watched her, she felt like she should do something to help in some way. Lexa looked so vulnerable; so afraid. The anger that she had expressed towards Lincoln earlier that night had dissipated and in it’s place was a look of regret. Clarke hated seeing that expression. She stood up from her bed and walked over to her closet, grabbing two sweatshirts and tossing one to Lexa, who snapped out of thought at the sweatshirt landing in her lap. 

“What’re you doing?” 

“Come on.. I wanna take you someplace.” 

Lexa nodded and slid on the sweatshirt, then followed Clarke out of her room and down the stairs. She was unsure of where they were going, but as Clarke led them out the front door and carefully locked and closed it behind them, she could only assume that they would be leaving the house entirely. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Just follow me, okay? I promise I’m not some psycho killer planning to murder you.” 

“I know you wouldn’t do that.. I trust you, Clarke.” 

Clarke looked back at Lexa and smiled at her, then nodded towards the direction that they were walking in. It seemed like they were walking in the opposite direction of the school, more towards the downtown area but it was way too late to be going to any shops or anything and neither of them were dressed for the occasion. But Lexa followed nonetheless, despite the fact that she was skeptical when they turned down a road that seemed to be deserted. The road looked like it hadn’t been taken care of in years, if the way that the weeds were growing through cracks in the ground were any indication, and it seemed like it went on forever. 

“This road stopped being occupied a few years ago; when the last people who lived on it moved away the city stopped caring for it and that’s how it’s ended up like this.” Clarke explained, her voice just above a whisper. “Nobody really comes down here.. Well, nobody but me.” 

Lexa nodded and fell into step with Clarke as they walked down the abandoned road. Everything was silent aside from their footsteps on the gravel below and a few crickets chirping from the tall grass on either side of the road. The brunette was curious as to where they were going- especially since it seemed like Clarke could walk this path with her eyes closed (which they might as well be considering the street lights had all blown out and the blonde didn’t have a flashlight with her that Lexa knew of). They walked until they reached the end of the road and Lexa almost questioned where they were going but Clarke walked into the tall grass, and Lexa had to follow her. 

They had stepped only a few feet into the tall grass when Lexa saw what she assumed was what Clarke was taking her to. She was surprised she didn’t see it from the road, but the trees created a shadow that made everything darker, even in the gentle glow of the moonlight. She followed Clarke’s footsteps closer to the location, jumping slightly at the change from footsteps on grass to footsteps on cement. 

When they finally entered the building she couldn’t help but turn on her flashlight, but Clarke shook her head. Against her better judgement Lexa turned it off and placed a hand on Clarke’s shoulder to allow the blonde to guide her through the area. 

“I’m starting to rethink this psycho killer idea, Clarke..” Lexa mumbled, earning a chuckle from the blonde. 

“It’s okay, Lexa.. We’re here.” 

Lexa furrowed her brow and stepped back to look around, seeing only darkness until she heard the flick of a lighter and turned to see Clarke lighting a few candles around the room. Once a light glow took over Clarke sat on the desk in the middle of the room and Lexa looked around, taking in dusty images on the walls and various signs here and there. She turned back to the blonde in the center, a look of confusion on her face.

“Welcome to Griffin’s Car Shop, Lexa. Welcome to my safe haven.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up where last chapter left off. Clarke shares a little backstory, Monty shows up and hangovers are dealt with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my good friend who's going through a tough time right now and she always loves it when I update. I wanted to cheer her up in the best way I know how, so I pushed through my writers block and came up with this. I hope you enjoy what I put together. You know who you are.

Green eyes looked at Clarke, taking in the way that the blonde held herself. Her shoulders were slouched and she leaned against the desk. Her eyes were looking anywhere but at Lexa, and the brunette knew that it was because she had yet to say anything in regards to what Clarke had told her. She stepped towards a wall, looking up at dusty pictures and posters that lined the wall. One stood out to her- it looked to be a team photo of kids. Lexa reached up and carefully brushed away the dust on the glass, revealing the picture. _Arkadia Community Little League Soccer, 2005.”_ Looking at all the faces she recognized a few; the younger images of Bellamy and Raven (who was sporting very thick framed glasses- Lexa almost didn’t realize it was her) smiling up at her with missing teeth. Her eyes scanned the old image until she found the coach, a tall and handsome man who seemed to be in his early thirties. He had a light in his eyes and she could see the smile lines already starting to form around his eyes and his cheeks. He looked to happy- and so did the young blonde who stood in front of him with his hand on her shoulder. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail with a black headband to push back strays, and while her top right tooth in the front was missing, that didn’t stop her from smiling brightly. Lexa smiled at the picture, then turned around to see the same blonde, yet older, watching her. 

“This was your father’s car shop.” Lexa confirmed, not needing Clarke to do it for her. She walked up to where Clarke was sitting; her sneakers making soft thuds in the old car shop. 

“Yeah.. When he..” Clarke sighed and ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head. “My mom never sold it, but people stopped coming around because nobody was working. To this day she still pays the bills on it even though it’s not taken care of.” 

“Why?” 

Clarke smiled sadly at her. “Like I said, it’s my safe haven.” The blonde slid off the desk and walked around it, looking up at the rooms of what Lexa assumed was her father’s office. “My mom doesn’t like to say it but I know she comes around here, too. We don’t have a lot left; this building is someplace where we can go to relive memories, to remember him.” 

“So he died.” 

Clarke nodded sadly, then looked to the floor. 

Lexa was silent. She walked over to Clarke and placed a hand on her shoulder, hoping to meet blue eyes. It seemed like they stood there forever, basking in the silence that surrounded them. It was quiet enough to hear the wind blowing outside and the crickets chirping, but not quite quiet to where Lexa had a ringing in her ears. It felt like that the world was calm outside them- almost like they were entirely alone in the town if even for a small amount of time. She traced her bottom lip with her tongue as she slowly slid onto the wooden desk next to Clarke, letting her free hand fall to the polished surface. Her fingertips came up slightly dusty, showing that Clarke probably hadn’t been there in a while. She could hear the small inhales and exhales that came from the body sitting next to her, drawing her eyes towards the blonde when she felt her shoulders shake a little bit. 

“I’ve lost someone, too.” Lexa admitted quietly, watching as Clarke’s head turned towards her- a look of curiosity showing through the sadness that had been upon her face moments prior. 

“You think about them every day, wondering how they would of reacted towards you now. Wonder if they would be proud of you, if they would love you the same, if they wished they could have done something differently..” Lexa continued, her hand trailing down from Clarke’s shoulder to her hand where she took it gently in her own. “You spend your time trying to make them proud, wherever they are. It gets easier, even if seeing their picture makes you sad sometimes. You learn to smile, because they would want you to be happy.” 

Clarke looked down at their hands as she listened to Lexa. The way the brunette was talking it seemed like she had lost someone she was close to, and it piqued her curiosity even more. Who did Lexa lose? Was it family? Or a friend? 

“Lexa.. Who did you lose?” 

She could see that Lexa was about to speak when her phone went off with a text message. She pulled it from the pocket of her sweatpants. As she opened her phone her eyes widened slightly- they had been gone for far longer than Clarke had thought. 2:56 am. Knowing they’d have to head back home soon she opened her messaging app, seeing a text from Monty. 

**_Monty; 2:55 AM:_ ** _Will u come open ur door pls_

Clarke’s brow furrowed but she slid off the desk with a sigh and dusted off the back of her sweatpants. 

“Everything okay?” 

“Apparently Monty is outside my house right now.” Clarke stated, starting to head around the room and blow out the candles. She didn’t want to leave, not yet at least, but if they didn’t leave soon Monty would probably knock and knock until he woke up her mother and then she’d be in trouble for sneaking out so late at night. That was the last thing she wanted. 

Lexa was confused as to why Monty would be outside Clarke’s home at almost 3 in the morning, but she didn’t question it. She knew a lot of things happened when people were drunk, and from what she remembered Monty had been drinking quite a lot of alcohol at the party. She wondered why he didn’t stay at Murphy’s, like almost everyone else they knew, but once again she didn’t question it. Instead she went to help Clarke with her candles around the room. There were many of various scents and sizes, ranging from Christmas Limited Editions to small Yankee Candle samples. Lexa was impressed by the sheer amount of time it would of taken for Clarke to have to bring all of those candles down here- especially if she only came at night and every now and then. 

“You have quite a lot of candles, Clarke.” 

“A lot of them were my dads, or gifts.. He always kept one or two lit in his office when he was doing paperwork because the smell of the candles reminded him of home and masked the smell of oil and gas. Kinda weird, because it’s a car shop, but he’d say that his office is supposed to be his home away from home.” Clarke explained, finishing with the candles and waving her hand around so the smoke would clear up. 

“It’s your way of feeling his presence, even when he’s not around.” Lexa confirmed, earning a nod from Clarke. 

“Yeah, kind of.” 

The blonde led them back out of the shop and onto the gravel road that didn’t seem to change from when they were last on it an hour or so earlier. The rocks seemed to crunch under Lexa’s shoes, some flying in various directions due to her tired legs slugging along. It didn’t hit her how tired she really was until the cool breeze blew by them, causing the brunette to yawn as she accidentally bumped shoulders with Clarke. 

“Keep walking Sleeping Beauty, we’ll be to my house soon.” Clarke stated with a smirk, glancing over at Lexa to make sure that the girl wasn’t about to fall over. It had been quite a long day, that was for sure, so she didn’t blame Lexa for being so tired. As she watched the girl finish up her yawn she saw tinted pink cheeks in the moonlight matching tired eyes that still seemed to be so full of life- it was a sight that Clarke really didn’t want to forget. 

“I didn’t feel tired in your father's shop.” 

“When you’re intrigued by new things your mind forgets that your body needs rest. It happens a lot when I’m traveling for games.” Clarke explained, chewing on her lip as she diverted her eyes from Lexa to the ground below them. They fell into another comfortable silence after that, letting the sounds of the night guide them back to Clarke’s house in the suburbs. As they approached the house Clarke could clearly see Monty sitting on her steps with his head between his hands and his hair ruffled. 

The blonde walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder gently to get his attention. He looked up and in the glow of the porch light Clarke saw that Monty’s eyes were puffy and red and his cheeks were moist. Clarke gave him a look of guilt that she hadn’t been there when he got there, but he shook his head and stood up as the blonde unlocked the door for the three of them. 

“Gotta be quiet- mom’s asleep upstairs, alright?” Clarke whispered, earning a nod from Monty. She locked the door again behind them and helped Monty over to the couch before she walked upstairs with Lexa, letting the brunette pick which side of the bed she slept on as Clarke got a spare pillow and blanket from the hall closet. 

“Don’t wait up for me- I’m gonna go see what’s up with Monty.” Clarke told her as Lexa slipped under the covers. 

“You’re a great friend, Clarke. Don’t forget that.” 

Clarke smiled at her and turned off the light to her bedroom before she walked back down the stairs, confused when she didn’t see Monty on the couch in the living room. She set down the sleeping materials on the couch and glanced around for any sight from her drunken friend. Seeing the light on in the kitchen she slowly made her way over to the threshold, leaning against it as she watched Monty fiddle with the stove. She heard him mumbling to himself as he fiddled with the knobs, furrowing her brow in confusion. 

“One, two, three, four.. One, two, three, four..” 

She stepped forward towards him, tapping her fingers against the counter to not startle him too much. “You know, if you wanted to make food we have stuff for sandwiches..” 

He jumped nonetheless, his hands shooting back from the stove. He turned to Clarke in fear, his hands falling immediately to his sides. Clarke could tell that he was afraid, and upset, and she slowly reached out for his hand but he refused. 

“Monty, what’s going on?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Monty. You were on my doorstep crying.” Clarke whispered softly, crossing her arms. 

“I was supposed to stay with Jas tonight but he uh.. Maya took him upstairs at Murphy’s and they never came down..” 

Clarke rose an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you just crash at Murphy’s? Not that I don’t want you here, but if you were supposed to be with Jas, why not stay with him?” 

Monty waited a few moments before responding. His hands slipped into the pockets of his jeans and as Clarke glanced down for the movement, Lexa saw how his shirt seemed to be wet. 

“I tried. I tried sleeping on the couch, finding an extra room, even tried sleeping outside in the grass- that’s why my shirt’s wet- but every time.. Every time I tried I just..” He took a deep breath. “All I could see when I closed my eyes was him, upstairs with her, forgetting all about me once again. Does.. Does that make me selfish, Clarke? Wanting him to pay attention to me?” 

Clarke shook her head and gave him a look of remorse. She reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, but he stepped back. She didn’t think too far into it. “That doesn’t make you selfish, Monty. I’ve noticed that he’s been focusing a lot more on Maya, too. C’mon, I got some pillows and stuff for you to sleep down here.. I’d offer up our spare bedroom but Lincoln’s up there passed out.” 

Monty nodded sadly and followed Clarke out of the kitchen to the living room. She got him set up in the living room and once she was sure that he was going to be able to sleep, she headed back upstairs to her own room. She carefully opened her bedroom door and walked inside, seeing her friend seemingly asleep in her blankets on her bed. She smiled to herself and climbed into bed on the other side, letting out a soft, relaxed sigh. Her pillow felt amazing under her head but her eyes didn’t close, instead looking at the back of Lexa’s head. The brunette had obviously taken her hair down before she fell asleep and now her hair fell in small curls against Clarke’s pillow. Lexa lay on her side and Clarke watched as her body moved ever so slightly with every breath the girl unconsciously took. The blonde smiled to herself, moving a little closer to Lexa. She hesitantly pushed Lexa’s hair out of the way and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the brunette’s cheek. Her tongue ran across her bottom lip as she moved her hand slowly under the covers to place her hand on Lexa’s side, wanting nothing more than to hold the girl in her arms. Then she got to thinking about how Lexa might react in the morning if she didn’t want that and so Clarke sighed, gave one last look to the back of the girl’s head, then turned over to her other side. 

If only she had known that Lexa was awake the whole time. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Clarke woke up the next morning to the feeling that something was definitely different. She blinked her eyes open slowly and furrowed her brow- she was definitely in her room. Everything was in place, so why did she feel like something was different? She went to turn over to stretch, but then she felt what was different. Her eyes widened slightly as she leaned back again, feeling the body pressed against her tightly again. Making sure that she was fully clothed she realized that she was just being held by the body behind her. 

The body that belonged to Lexa. 

Clarke squeezed her eyes shut, thinking that maybe it was a dream, but when she opened her eyes again she realized that it wasn’t. She looked over her shoulder and saw Lexa sleeping softly, and Clarke sighed. Lexa had to of done this in her sleep. The blonde shook her head and slowly removed herself out of Lexa’s arms, no matter how much she really wanted to remain there, and made her way out of her room and down the stairs. Her mother was making breakfast with a smile on her face, and out of the corner of her eye she could see both Monty and Lincoln on the couch with the tv on very quietly, the both of them having water bottles in their hands. She chuckled and leaned against the counter, watching as her mom worked. 

“You know, I remember you asking about your friend and her brother, but I don’t remember you asking about Monty.” Abby stated with a small smirk- Clarke was just glad that her mother wasn’t upset. 

“He showed up on our doorstep last night.. I couldn’t just say no to him.” Clarke began, glancing over at the threshold to the living room. “He’s been going through a lot and I know that his mom would really get on his case if he showed up drunk.. Jasper abandoned him last night.” 

She watched as Abby nodded, fully believing the story. “Why did Jasper abandon him?”

“He got a new girlfriend.. You know how Jas gets when he’s dating someone. His world begins to revolve around them and he loses interest in his friends. Monty was on the blunt end of that.. Jasper has barely made any time of him.”

“Sounds like Jasper has to get his head out of his girlfriend’s ass.” 

“Mom!” 

“What? Monty’s a good kid- he deserves a friend that won’t push him aside like that.” Abby explained, pouring the pancake batter onto the skillet. “I’m glad that you didn’t push him away, Clarke. I’ll let it slide just this once.. But next time, at least send me a text, okay?” 

Clarke nodded and left the kitchen. She contemplated going upstairs and seeing if Lexa had moved, or was at least awake, but she didn’t want to jinx it. She didn’t want what she remembered that morning and last night to fade away. Lexa probably only did it in her sleep- maybe she was dreaming of someone she liked or something and did it upon instinct or something. Clarke didn’t know. 

She walked into the living room and fell into her dad’s chair, feeling the worn-down leather against her arms and smiling internally. Her dad’s chair always gave her a sense of comfort and serenity. “So how’s your guys’ mornings been?” She asked, a little louder than necessary. 

“Must you yell so loud?” Lincoln groaned, squinting his eyes as he looked over at Clarke. The blonde chuckled and shook her head. 

“How’s your hand?” Clarke asked him, her voice a little quieter. 

“Hurts quite a lot.. I’m pretty sure Murphy’s head is just a giant brick.” 

Clarke got up from her spot and walked over to him, taking his hand in hers. His knuckles had already swelled up and she sighed, chewing her lip. 

“Hey mom, we still have some bandage wrap, right?” 

“In the bathroom closet, Clarke. Why?” Abby called from the kitchen. 

Clarke set Lincoln’s hand down and stepped into the threshold. “Lincoln, my friend who stayed in the guest room, got into a fight last night defending his sister and I guess the guy he hit has a pretty hard face..” 

“Say no more. Put some cream on it then wrap it up, then give him an ice pack from the freezer while I finish this up. I’ll check it in an hour or so.” Abby stated and Clarke nodded, heading to the bathroom to get what she needed. By the time she had tended to his hand and they had watched half an episode of _Criminal Minds_ on Netflix, Lexa had come downstairs and Abby was saying that breakfast was finally all ready. 

They all went into the kitchen and Abby suggested to Lincoln that he unwrap his hand while he ate, seeing that it was his left hand that had gotten injured and he was left handed. He didn’t show any wincing in pain or anything and Lexa had stated that Lincoln always tried to show that he didn’t feel pain but he was really a big baby sometimes. 

“I’m sorry- I don’t mean to be rude but Clarke didn’t give me the names of her friends last night. I only learned Lincoln’s this morning.” Abby asked. 

“Oh, that’s quite alright. I’m Lexa. Lincoln’s my brother. Well, adoptive brother.” Lexa stated with a smile. 

“Lexa as in Arkadia High’s Juliet Capulet?”

“Mom!”

Lexa chuckled. “Yes, actually. I take it Clarke told you about me?” 

“Octavia, actually. She was quite impressed by your abilities.” Abby spilled, glancing over at Clarke who only shook her head and put a piece of fruit in her mouth. 

“Don’t let O know you told Lexa that- she’ll regret telling you.” The blonde joked. 

“If anything your mom shouldn’t of told Lex- Lord knows Heda needs her ego bigger.” Lincoln teased, smirking then going back to his food. 

“Heda?” Monty asked from next to Lincoln. He looked quite small in comparison to their friend. 

“Long story- shut up, Lincoln, or I’ll tell mom about your little incident tonight.” Lexa threatened, sending a glare his way. Clarke chuckled. 

“I definitely want to hear this story someday.” The blonde commented. 

“Maybe someday you will.” Lexa looked over at her and smiled. 

The rest of the day was spent with most of them lounging around in the living room just watching movies or tv shows after Abby had gone to work. They wanted to make sure that Monty and Lincoln’s hangovers were gone before everyone went home as to not get anyone in trouble with family or anything. Clarke had texted Bellamy once she was sure he was awake to have him pick up Lincoln’s bike and he complied, setting it in her driveway when he got home with the help of Marcus, who didn’t question why he had to help unload a motorcycle. 

A few hours later had Clarke removing the signs for the bathroom in the hallway as Lexa got her things ready to leave, with both Monty and Lincoln downstairs. They had agreed that Monty was going to stay a little longer with Clarke to make sure that his hangover was fully gone, and then she’d walk him home. Clarke walked back into her room and set the signs on her dresser, watching as Lexa set her bag on the bed. “Tell Lincoln that I just have to get dressed really quick and then we can go?” 

As much as Clarke didn’t want to see Lexa leave, she shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. You can just give them to me on Monday during rehearsal or something.” 

Lexa smiled at her and put her clothes from the night before in her bag. Clarke walked her downstairs and out to her driveway, where Monty was talking to Lincoln as the taller guy slipped onto his motorcycle. Lexa turned to Clarke on the porch with a smile on her face, and Clarke rose a brow. 

“What is it?” 

Lexa leaned in a little bit. “Thank you for letting us stay last night. And for the record, I’d much rather be the little spoon.” The brunette kissed her cheek then headed down the stairs to get on the back of Lincoln’s bike. Clarke stood there confused and shocked, but definitely glad that she had agreed to it. 

Once the bike was out of sight, Monty turned to Clarke. “You’ve got it pretty bad, C.” 

“Shut up, Monty.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homecoming Part One. Stuff about the parade is discussed with the drama, a brief run-through of Spirit Week, some Octaven stuff happens, and Lexa has something big to ask of Clarke.  
> There are a few lines from Romeo & Juliet- I have removed the way they are originally written to make it easier to read as dialogue in a story rather than in a play format.

If Clarke had to name her favorite week out of the school year, it was homecoming week. Seeing how everyone in the school came together to participate in events and friendly competition between the classes put a smile on her face every year. What made this year a little better was that she actually had a reason to be in the parade, and that was drama. For the past three years she had volunteered to hand out candy with the football players, which allowed her to walk alongside Bellamy and the other football players while the rest of her friends walked with the robotics team (or in Octavia’s case, the drama club- which Clarke was surprised that her friend had managed to get away with it for three years). 

“Clarke, stop dozing off, we’ve got a float to design!” 

Clarke sighed and sat up a little straighter, looking over Octavia’s shoulder at what the brunette was sketching out. Anya had suggested that the cast got together to help design the float and they’d all get together throughout the week to work on it, but only around half the cast had actually showed up to the first meeting held the Sunday before Homecoming Week. The only reason why Clarke really showed up to it was because it was being held at Octavia’s house and she didn’t have a legitimate excuse as to why she wouldn’t show up, and even if she did Octavia would probably drag her out of her own house to the place next door. 

From what Clarke could see, Octavia had done a basic sketch of what the float would look like. It wasn’t something super big; just a lot of decorations that could probably fit in the back of a truck. Octavia was talking a mile a minute about how everything would go (Clarke was actually worried about where her broody friend had gone- Octavia was really, _really_ into drama club), but from what Clarke understood was that the float would be on the back of a truck, Lexa and Murphy would be standing on a platform in makeshift costumes, Nathan, Octavia, Maya and John would be sitting on the hub of the truck, and the rest of the cast would be walking alongside the truck while handing out candy. 

“Do you really think that Anya will let us use the old costumes in the drama room?” Gustus asked, leaning against the table. “How are we even going to make it look like we’re from the 1300’s without doing major altercations?” 

Octavia huffed as she scribbled a few things out on her sketch. “Okay- maybe we won’t be able to do that. But we gotta do something- it’d look weird if we just wore the purple show shirts- there wouldn’t be any differentiation or anything- it’d be a mess.” 

Clarke arched an eyebrow as she looked over at Lexa, then back to Octavia. “O, we don’t all have to look different. Most of the other clubs and teams are going to be looking similar because of uniforms.” 

“But Clarke- we’re supposed to be different. We’re the _drama_ club. We’re supposed to be dramatic- we’re not like other clubs!” 

“Uh, guys.. I think I might have an idea.” Six pairs of eyes turned to the tall blonde that was standing at the other end of the table- Kyle Wick, who was playing Mercutio. The boy cleared his throat and continued to speak. 

“Well.. My dad is the one who did the shirts. Well, kind of. His company did it, I mean. He does the shirts for all the clubs here. I could talk to him about our dilemma, maybe I can get him to do a set specifically for the parade. We could have the traditional colors for the main cast- the Capulet side be red, the Montague side be blue, and the neutrals- myself, Gustus, Jackson and Cage- we could keep the purple shirts.” 

Kyle watched as the small group- consisting of Lexa, Clarke, Octavia, Gustus, Jackson, and Nathan- thought about it, but without a doubt turned to Octavia on the matter. Nobody wanted to cross the small brunette’s path when it came to this float- especially since Octavia was already worked up about it and they hadn’t even started spirit week yet. It was funny- everywhere but the drama room Octavia was a small ball of fire, but throw her in the middle of a production and she flips 180 degrees of crazy. 

“...It seems reasonable. How much would it cost?” Octavia asked, tapping her pen against her bottom lip. 

“I’m sure he wouldn’t cost us for it. I mean, his company does the t-shirts for everything we do with the school. I don’t think it’d be too big of a problem.” Kyle explained, moving to lean against the table. 

The room fell silent for a moment until Octavia spoke up again. “Then I think we’ve got our costumes for the parade.” 

She didn’t notice the way everyone else seemed to let out a heavy, synchronized breath. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Clarke felt the best that she had in months when she woke up Monday morning, knowing that she had spirit week ahead of her. It was weird, finding comfort in something that so many students participated in and was really a social week, but it was something that made her feel normal for once. When she was dressed up in the ridiculous getups that they usually had for spirit week, she felt like she could blend in the crowd. She wasn’t Clarke Griffin, captain of the female lacrosse team- she was just another member of the Arkadia High student body. 

Monday was Black and White day, and Clarke knew she wasn’t going to be the kid that stood out the most, but she felt like she had a decent amount of gear to really feel like she was in the spirit of Homecoming week. She had a pair of black jeans with a white belt, a white shirt and a black snapback with her original-style converse. By the time she had finished getting ready, she had felt like she belonged in an old movie. Chuckling to herself, she headed downstairs to meet her friends, but was surprised when the only person standing in her kitchen was Bellamy. 

“Where’s O and Raven?” Clarke asked, grabbing an apple from the fruit basket on the island. 

“O said something about wanting to get to the school early to meet with Kyle- they decided to walk. I offered them a ride, but well, you know how O is.” Bellamy explained, stepping away from the counter. Something was off, Clarke could tell. 

“She’s stubborn,” Clarke shrugged and walked to grab her bag. “What else is new?” 

“Maybe the fact that Raven stayed the night last night but when I got up this morning, she was on the couch?” 

Clarke hummed, letting her friend know she was listening as they headed out the door. Hearing that Raven had slept on the couch was definitely news- she could only imagine the reasoning behind it. Maybe they had fought or something. The blonde shrugged and hopped into the passenger’s side of Bellamy’s truck, tossing her backpack into the backseat. As she buckled her seatbelt she took in what Bellamy was wearing, and she had to fight from rolling her eyes. 

“You look like a mime.” She commented, watching as he looked down at the black and white striped shirt he was wearing. 

“Hey- I don’t have any plain black or white shirts. I had to borrow this from Marcus.” 

“Mhm. Are you going to be in a box for most of the day?” She teased, earning a middle finger from her best friend. She laughed as they drove off to the school. 

When they arrived there, they met up with Raven, but Octavia was nowhere to be seen. It was odd but neither Clarke nor Bellamy questioned it, knowing that if they did they’d bring up drama that neither of them wanted to deal with so early in the morning. 

The unanswered question went until after school, where Clarke knew she was going to be spending hours with her friends one-on-one. She had rehearsal right after school, and right after rehearsal was the practice for the powderpuff game. The game was on Wednesday and the seniors had first practice on Monday- the fun part was that they were all underprepared and the profits from the game went to a local charity (not to mention the fact that the guys were the cheerleaders for the game and did a halftime show). She’d be at rehearsal with Octavia, then practice with Raven. Why Raven had decided to play in the powderpuff game that year, she didn’t know. But she was glad that she was going to be able to spend a little more time with her friend doing something other than watching movies, doing schoolwork or watching Raven put together a mini-robot in her garage. 

Clarke wanted to try and talk with Octavia before the practice even began, but Octavia was still nowhere to be seen until it was too late. They had been broken up into pairs that week to work on one-on-one scenes, and Octavia was quick to sweep Lexa away to work on the scenes they had together. Clarke could tell that Octavia was ignoring her. The blonde sighed and picked up her script, flipping through it to her lines to see who else she had lines against, but she came up short when she realized that a few members of the cast were skipping. Shaking her head she grabbed a chair and plopped into it, deciding to do her lines on her own. 

It wasn’t until she heard the clearing of a throat that she looked up, rolling her eyes at who she saw in front of her. “What do you want, Cage?” 

“Is that such a way to talk to your homecoming royalty?” Cage smirked, crossing his arms. 

It was true- Cage had been announced as one of the contenders to be Homecoming King. There were three other guys- Finn, Bellamy, and Murphy- as well as four girls - herself, Gina, Octavia, and another girl that Clarke didn’t know the name of. Clarke didn’t even care if she had gotten Queen or not; the only person she’d want to willingly dance with was Bellamy and it’d be weird if she had to dance with Finn, Cage, or Murphy. Finn was her ex, Murphy was a dick, and Clarke couldn’t be within fifty feet of Cage without wanting to punch him in the jaw. 

“Are you going to tell me why you’re talking to me or are you just going to keep expecting me to know what you’re thinking?” 

Cage raised an eyebrow. “I only assumed that we could be scene partners for the day, seeing as that we are the only ones without a partner.” 

“We don’t have any scenes together. There isn’t a reason for us to work together.” 

“Ah, Cage- I see you don’t have a partner. Why don’t you work with Clarke? You can work on her scenes, then yours. It seems due to some delinquents we’re short a few members.” Anya exclaimed, looking up from the paperwork she was doing. 

Clarke huffed. Why did Anya hate her so much? She looked back at Cage to find him smirking at her and she shook her head, stood up from her chair, and led him to the hallway behind the stage where it would be quiet. 

“Listen to me. You’re going to stay here, and be quiet, and I’m going to leave so I can get ready for practice tonight.” Clarke stated, knowing that she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. 

“I’d hate for my father to hear about your incompetence in this production.” Cage sneered, a devilish smirk on his face. 

“What are you, Draco Malfoy?” Clarke asked over her shoulder as she started to walk away. She hated Cage with a burning passion, and while it sucked majorly that his father was the Principal, she knew her way around some things. 

She still had a few hours before powderpuff practice, but she couldn’t stay in the theater for much longer. Cage was pissing her off and there was still that nagging feeling in the back of her head that she had to talk to Raven. Octavia was out of the question- there wasn’t anything she could do about her anymore. It was like Octavia knew that Clarke was trying to get her alone and was doing everything that she could to get out of it and avoid Clarke altogether. 

The blonde ended up finding herself on the bleachers, staring at the field as the helpers for the game started to get everything set up for the practices that evening. She was thinking about all the things that could have happened to her friends that would make them seem so.. Distant from each other, but she kept coming up short. A creaking on the bleachers made her look to the steps leading up to them and her bottom lip became tucked between her teeth when she saw Lincoln walking up the bleachers. She averted her eyes back to the field, but still felt him sit down next to her. They sat in silence once again, the only sounds around them being the occasional words spoken from the helpers on the field and the light chirping of birds coming from somewhere around them. 

After what felt like hours, Clarke took a deep breath. “Do you know what happened between Octavia and Raven?” She asked, her voice quiet. She looked over at him, her eyes soft as she tried to get something out of him. There had to be something that she didn’t know. 

She watched as he nodded. 

“What is it, then?” 

“Octavia kissed me at that party at Murphy’s a few weeks ago.” 

Clarke’s eyes widened. Raven’s nightmare was coming true. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Clarke may have not gotten the chance to talk to Octavia, but she definitely got the chance to talk to Raven before, during, and after the powderpuff game. She had learned that Octavia had started to become distant around her over the past few weeks and that Raven had tried to talk to her about it, then Octavia confessed to kissing Lincoln. Raven was mad and slept on the couch that night. They _had_ left early that morning so Octavia could do stuff regarding the production, but they also tried to talk about what had happened. 

Octavia had confessed to liking it, and liking Lincoln. 

Raven demanded they took a break on their relationship so Octavia could figure out what- or who- she wanted. 

Clarke held her friend as Raven cried herself to sleep that night. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tuesday was country club day and Clarke was able to find something not only for herself, but for Raven as well. They ended up matching, to which Clarke didn’t mind at all. She knew that Raven would need a laugh, among other things. 

Bellamy continued to look like an idiot, but that didn’t stop them from laughing with him and not at him. 

As they all piled into his truck, Clarke realized that Octavia wasn’t with them again. Apparently she had left early again. Clarke could tell by the broken look in Raven’s eyes that she was starting to regret the decision she had made. 

The only thing that seemed to brighten Raven’s day was when she told Clarke to “wipe her drool” at the sight of Lexa in a pantsuit. According to Lexa, she was “the owner of the country club and had to dress accordingly”. 

Clarke couldn’t keep her eyes to herself. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Wednesday was color day- freshman wore blue, sophomores wore white, juniors wore orange and seniors wore black. The day had started off similarly to the day before, with Raven joining Clarke and Bellamy in the truck. Octavia had walked to school, again. Upon reaching the school, Clarke learned that Lexa (who she was very surprised to see in orange, not black) had to get a ride from her foster mom that morning because Lincoln hadn’t come home the night before. 

She asked Bellamy if anyone had come over that night, once she was able to talk to him alone. 

Bellamy had told her that he had heard something on the side of the house, but he thought it was a stray cat. 

Clarke didn’t tell Raven what she had found out. 

The blonde wasn’t able to talk to Octavia until right before the powderpuff game, where the seniors were set to go against the sophomores. Octavia had pulled her aside before she went into the locker room, and Clarke almost wanted to punch her in the face. 

“How is she?” Octavia asked, her voice quiet. She glanced around, unsure if people were listening in on them. 

“She’s spent the last three nights at my house crying her eyes out. How the hell do you think she is? And you have the _nerve_ to sneak Lincoln into your house? Are you freaking kidding me, O?!” Clarke exclaimed, her face growing red. She was mad that Octavia had the audacity to treat Raven so poorly.

“Clarke I didn’t know what was going to happen, okay? I’m confused- I love Raven with all my heart,” She paused at the glare that Clarke gave her, “Don’t give me that look. I love her, I do. But Lincoln.. He makes me feel something too. I don’t know what to do. I’m confused, I don’t want to hurt her but I know I already have.” 

“Yeah, you definitely have.” 

“Can you ask her to talk to me? Please?” 

Clarke licked her lips and glanced up at the door to the locker room, then back to Octavia. “You can talk to her yourself.” 

She let them be after that, but not before telling Raven where she’d be. 

She didn’t hear what happened until after the entire game, where the seniors took both the entire game and the halftime competition. Apparently Bellamy doing the splits was enough to get everyone yelling in surprise and joy. 

Octavia had convinced Raven to spend some time with Lincoln and herself. Raven had agreed, as long as she didn’t end up feeling even more like a third wheel. Clarke wasn’t sure about that, but she had reassured Raven that she was there for her no matter what. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Thursday was Raven’s favorite day: Flannel day. The girl had gone a little overboard, with a flannel not only around her torso, but also tied around her waist, as well as having an extra one in her bag. Clarke didn’t question it- whatever made Raven happy in that moment. She was even happier to see the look on Raven’s face when Lexa showed up without a flannel, and Raven proceeded to pull the extra one out of her bag and placing it on Lexa’s shoulders. 

She was hoping for the best for her friends- all of them. 

When drama rolled around- the last meeting for the week because Anya was giving them Friday off for the sake of homecoming- Clarke had managed to get there before everyone else. She was glad about that, mostly because it’d mean that she’d get to pick Lexa first for her one-on-one practices. She hadn’t been able to rehearse with the girl all week because someone else was always dragging her away, and Clarke hated to admit it, but she was a little jealous. She waited by the door, even greeted Anya when she walked in, and when Lexa came in she immediately took the girl’s hand and led her towards the girl’s dressing room. They had _some_ lines together, but Clarke was mostly looking forward to getting to spend at least _some_ time with Lexa before the game on Friday. 

They stood on opposites ends of the small dressing room; close enough to where they could hear each other but far away to where they wouldn’t bump into each other while trying to do small stage movements that were written into the script. Clarke was about to start their first scene together, but Lexa held up a hand, asking her to wait. 

Clarke looked at Lexa, a confused look on her face. The brunette had her lip tucked between her teeth and her eyes were focused; her brow furrowed. She was thinking hard about something. 

“What's up?” She asked, dropping her hand that held her script. 

“I know we both have these lines memorized.. Or most of them, anyways. I was.. Wondering if you would maybe want to run a scene with me?” 

Clarke hummed and looked at her script, contemplating it. “What scene?”

“Act one, scene five..” 

Clarke flipped her script until she found the act, then continued to flip until she found the scene. She scanned it until she found the lines Lexa would say, and her eyes widened. “Uh.. Why this scene?” 

“The day I was working with John on that scene, he left early before we even got to it.” 

“Why couldn’t you work on it with Lincoln at home?” 

Lexa gave her a look. 

“Point taken.”

“Just please? I know we need to practice the balcony lines but I want to at least get one run-through before we take act one to the stage…” 

Clarke sighed. Lexa was really putting her in a difficult space. She had read the lines that Romeo was to say, and it was rather.. Romantic. It was the scene where they kissed for the first time. And really, Clarke was nervous to even read the lines aloud. It was a scene that she never would've thought that she'd be doing. But Lexa wanted her to.

“Okay.. Let's do it.” 

Lexa’s smile grew and she clapped her hands a few times before she moved to get into position. Clarke felt her nerves coming up again and she shook her head, mentally cursing herself for being so smitten about Lexa. 

“Uh.. The part after Tybalt leaves?” 

Lexa nodded. Clarke cleared her throat, but begun reading from the script. 

“If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this, my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand, to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.”

Lexa smiled at her and continued on where she left off, never missing a beat. “Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this: For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss.”

“Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?”

“Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in pray’r.”

Clarke hesitantly took a step forward, trying her hardest to not chew on her lip. “O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do, they pray—grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.”

“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.”

Clarke took a deep breath, letting her eyes close for a brief moment. She didn’t want to look at Lexa before she did this, in case that Lexa was only being professional about this- that maybe she really did just need a scene partner. She moved a few steps forward as her eyes fell down to her script, one hand moving from the book. 

“Then move not while my prayer’s effect I take. Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purg’d.”

The blonde looked up at Lexa for the slightest of moments before she surged forward, cupping Lexa’s cheek with her hand and pressing her lips to the brunette’s. She meant for it to be short, sweet, and to the point, just in case Lexa was against it, but Clarke was surprised to hear a script (or was it two?) fall to the ground, then feel a hand tangle in her hair. Lexa had pulled her closer and her free hand that had dropped her script fell to Lexa’s hip. 

Everything was clicking into place. 

She didn’t have to worry about anything because _Lexa was kissing her back._

The play was long forgotten about as their lips moved together gently, then harshly, then gently again. They had fallen into their own little world where everything they had built up to over the past few weeks had come crashing down, and it scared the hell out of Clarke. 

But as she felt a hand tug at her hair and her bottom lip be nipped at- she wouldn’t have it any other way.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homecoming pt 2. Includes a lot more clexa, the homecoming parade and dance, and we get one step closer to finding out what's actually been going on with Monty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to give thanks to all of you that are leaving such wonderful comments on my story. I don't really reply to them because I never know what to say, but for those of you who do leave comments- it's really appreciated. I love hearing your guys' input on how the story is going.

Friday morning led Clarke into a sea of orange and black- the school colors- and it made it even harder for her to find the person she was looking for. She wanted to find Lexa, to talk to her about what had happened the day before, but Lexa was nowhere to be found. She knew the brunette had gotten a ride from Lincoln that morning, but Lincoln was nowhere to be found, either. Not even Octavia knew where the duo was, and that thought was unsettling. After the “scene rehearsal” (which is what Clarke was calling it- she didn’t want to just start flinging around the saying “making out in the dressing room” when she wasn’t even certain what she and Lexa _were_ ) Lexa had walked away with a sway in her hips and a wink, but Clarke didn’t even get so much as a text message from the girl. By the time the late bell rang Clarke had given up her search for her friend and went to class, trying her hardest to focus on her studies but her mind had gone elsewhere. 

Clarke had gone through the motions of each of her classes (which they weren’t even really doing anything in- homecoming week and all that) and she was really grateful for the shortened schedule they had due to the pep assembly later that afternoon. Lexa still hadn’t messaged her and she was ready to give up questioning the girl. 

“Would you stop moping around? It’s homecoming- you’re supposed to be having fun.” Raven stated, nudging her arm as they stood outside Octavia’s locker. 

“I am having fun, Ray. I just.. Have a lot on my mind.” 

“Everything okay?” 

“I’m fine, really.” Clarke shrugged, leaning against the lockers and letting her head rest against it with a soft bang. “I just really need to talk to Lexa.” 

“She should be in the drama room- we were running late this morning.” Clarke and Raven looked over to the side to see Lincoln and Octavia approaching the latter’s locker- Lincoln’s arm around Octavia’s shoulders. 

Clarke could feel Raven tense up next to her, but her friend relaxed when Octavia came up to her and kissed her on the cheek. Clarke tried not to question it- whatever was happening between the three of them was something they had to have discussed, but it still seemed.. Slightly unsettling. Clarke was worried that Raven was going to end up getting hurt again. Her eyes fell on Raven until the girl looked at her, and gave her a soft smile. 

“Okay, well, I think I’ll leave you three be and go find her.” Clarke announced, wanting to leave the situation before she said something that might have offended her friends. It wasn’t that she wasn’t okay with them.. _all_ being a couple- she didn’t mind that that much. She just didn’t really understand it. 

She walked into the drama classroom and scanned the room, trying to find the girl in question. She found her sitting in the corner, a book in her hands and a bright orange scarf around her neck that Clarke would usually cringe at. Her footsteps were soft and quiet as she walked over to Lexa, her nerves settling in her stomach as she got closer. Lexa looked so at ease- so peaceful and while Clarke didn’t want to ruin that sense of serenity for her.. She wanted answers. She waited a few moments until Lexa looked up at her, and when their eyes met she couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her face. 

“Clarke.. Hey. Sorry I haven’t messaged you- I’ve been a little all over the place.” Lexa explained, uncrossing her legs as she reached down to put her book in her bag. 

“Oh- it’s not a problem. I uh.. I just wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday…” 

“What do you mean?” Lexa furrowed her brow. 

“In the dressing room? We-” 

“Gather ‘round everyone- we’ve got a parade to discuss!” 

Clarke was ready to smack Anya- detention be damned. 

“We can talk after class, okay?” Lexa suggested, placing a hand on Clarke’s arm before she led them to the circle. 

Clarke sighed. It was going to be a long day. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“So.. you wanted to talk about what happened yesterday?” Lexa asked, pulling her backpack over her shoulder after the shortened drama class. 

“Yeah, uh.. What happened in the dressing room? I get that it was part of the scene but I don’t think they got _that_ into the scene in the actual play and I was wondering what actually happened between us then-” 

Lexa had pressed her lips to Clarke’s softly, effectively getting the girl to stop rambling. It was short and soft, and when the brunette pulled back, Clarke had a smile on her face. She wanted to pull the girl closer to her, but with people still trickling out of the drama room, the nagging voice in the back of her head kept saying it was a bad idea. The sound of someone cat calling her made her groan, and while sending a glare at the person in question she huffed. 

“Fuck _off,_ Murphy!” Clarke growled, watching as the boy shook his head while laughing and walked away. She sighed and turned back to Lexa, running a hand through her hair. 

“I’d suggest ignoring him.. There’s really nothing more you can do about him.” Lexa suggested, shrugging as she turned to walk out the door. Clarke followed her. 

“I know- he just drives me nuts. He never knows when to stop, y’know?” 

“I know. But we only have to deal with him until the end of the play.. Rumor has he it can’t sing so he won’t be in the musical.”

Clarke gave her a small smile. “Who’s to say I’m going to do the musical?” 

Lexa smirked. “I figured you’d want to- it’s not every day you get to partake in a musical with Anya as the director.” 

“Do you _have_ to talk about her?” Clarke groaned. “She hates my guts.” 

“She doesn’t hate you, she’s just-” 

“Biased?” 

Lexa sighed, but nodded. 

Clarke looked down and slipped her hands into the pockets of her jeans. They fell into a soft silence between the two of them, something gentle despite the hustle and bustle around them. People were starting to get excited for the pep rally that was only in a few hours, but as Clarke and Lexa walked through the hallways, they didn’t partake in them. Clarke gave a few of her teammates and Bellamy’s teammates high fives when they offered, but other than that she wasn’t really getting super hyped. She didn’t want to get caught up in something, then have Lexa walk away. She wanted to be around Lexa constantly if given the chance. 

They walked to the lunch table that held the rest of their friends, and again Clarke could see how close Octavia was being to both Lincoln and Raven. She chewed her lip and sat down across from them, right next to Bellamy. She motioned for Lexa to sit on the other side of her, and she could see the hesitance in her friend. 

“C’mon, Lex. We don’t bite too much.” Jasper commented, smirking over at the girl. Clarke rolled her eyes, but felt a wave of relief wash over her when Lexa sat down nonetheless. 

She glanced over at the other side of Bellamy, where Monty was sitting. He seemed to be okay, but he was staring down at his food, seeming to be lost in thought. He was concentrating hard and Clarke bit her lip, observing him as her friends continued to converse around her. It wasn’t until Jasper reached over and took a fry from Monty’s food that Monty looked up, his eyes full of fear. 

“What’re you doing?” He asked, looking at his friend. 

“What? Dude- it’s just a fry.” Jasper replied, munching on said fry. 

“No no no- I was counting- I-” 

“Chill the hell out, Monty. It was just a fry- here, you can have one of mine.” Bellamy offered, but Monty shook his head. 

“No- no!” 

Clarke could tell something bad was going to happen if she didn’t get Monty out of there so she acted fast, getting out of her seat and running over to her friend. 

“Hey- hey it’s okay, okay? Come on.. Let’s go talk, okay?” Clarke asked, her voice soft as she gently took Monty’s hand. Something was really wrong with her friend. When Monty complied she led them out of the cafeteria, right to the art room where he had consoled her years before. His mom wasn’t in the room, which made things easier. 

She had Monty sit down on one of the stools and she stood in front of him, watching as he broke down. His breathing was quick and she could see tears in his eyes as he fought to find his breath again, his hands wringing together tightly only to be loosened the next second. His eyes were focused on the ground and she noticed as he gently started to rock himself slightly. Clarke didn’t have a struggle with anxiety, but after spending time with her mother in the hospital, she knew what it looked like. 

She kept quiet as she moved to sit next to him, gently reaching over to rub his back. He jumped and his breath caught again, and Clarke had moved to remove her hand, but he shook his head and she continued. It took a few moments, but he soon managed to calm down to where he had his breathing under control and he was shaking only minimally. He wiped his eyes furiously and looked over at Clarke when he had calmed down. Clarke only looked at him with concern, but comfort. She wasn’t going to judge him for breaking down at school when she had been in a similar position only years previous. 

“Wanna tell me what that was about?” She asked softly, continuing to rub his back gently. 

“I don’t know.. I was counting what was on my plate- it makes me feel better, makes my mind shut up for a little bit- a-and he just took it, messing up my counting.. I panicked.” Monty explained, his voice small and quiet. 

“I saw that,” Clarke joked gently, giving him a smile. “Do you know why that’s happening?” 

Monty shook his head. “No, I don’t.. But it’s been happening for a while. I can’t sleep without making sure all the locks are right, I can’t think right unless everything is in its place.. Unless everything is perfect.. “ He sighed, looking down. He was quiet for a few moments. “Clarke.. Am I insane? Am I.. Am I broken?” 

Clarke felt her heart breaking for her friend. She knew he wasn’t broken, that was for sure, but she couldn’t place her finger on what could be causing his panic attacks. It didn’t sound like general anxiety. Clarke didn’t know what it really sounded like. Her hand moved to his arm and she squeezed it gently, shaking her head. 

“You’re not broken, Monty.” 

“Is this why Jasper can’t stand to be around me?” 

Clarke felt tears pricking at her eyes. “No, no Monty, that’s not true at all. He’s just.. Distracted right now. I’m sure he’ll come around soon.” 

“But what if he doesn’t? What if he completely replaces me? What if-” 

His breathing had started to quicken again and Clarke started to rub his back again. “Monty don’t get yourself worked up right now, okay? Jasper’s not gonna replace you. If he does, he’s being an idiot. You’re an amazing guy, Monty. If Jasper can’t get his head out of his ass to see that, he doesn’t deserve to be your friend.” Clarke explained, watching as he calmed down. 

They sat there for the rest of lunch, with Clarke rubbing his back and Monty telling the blonde how he was feeling. It was nice, being away from the loud cafeteria for a while. When it was time to go to their next class, Monty went ahead of her, but Clarke stayed back, saying that she’d text him. He was skeptical of it, but went nonetheless, and when his mom returned to her classroom Clarke told her what had happened. She was worried about Monty- what happened really scared her. She couldn’t describe it all without feeling like crying. By the time they were done Clarke was late for her next class, and had to get a pass. 

Clarke didn’t return to class. She went right to the bathroom and broke down. She knew she had done all she could to help Monty, but she felt like it wasn’t enough. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The first thing Clarke noticed when she walked into the pep assembly was how _loud_ everyone was being. It was almost like a zoo, with everyone talking at once. She had found her friends almost immediately and sat down next to them; with Raven on her left and Lexa on her right. She leaned into Lexa slightly, a smile on her face when she saw the brunette actively conversing with Monty and Octavia. It was nice to see her friends all getting along- especially after what happened at lunch. She found herself being more quiet than usual, instead of conversing she found herself resting her head on Lexa’s shoulder and just feeling content. At least until the activities began. 

The football team played a few games with people in the audience and Clarke was cheering Bellamy on with all of them- she was almost sure that she was being one of the loudest people in the room. By the time the games ended Clarke felt like she had lost her voice (she didn’t, thankfully), and they had moved on to the next portion of the assembly. 

The announcement of the nominations for Homecoming King and Queen. 

Underclassmen had been picked to be homecoming representatives in the parade, and when their names were called they all went down to the gym floor where they’d stand and wait for the senior names to be called. Eight names were going to be called, four guys and four girls, and Clarke was only hoping that her name wouldn’t be called. Homecoming royalty wasn’t really her thing. Plus, if she were a nominee, that would mean that she wouldn’t be able to walk with Lexa in the parade. 

Principal Wallace had gotten the names for the nominations and he began to read off the card. “The first pair of nominations for Homecoming Royalty are.. Octavia Blake and Finn Collins.” 

Clarke clapped and patted Octavia on the back as she walked down- even if she seemed to be scowling the entire time. 

“Bellamy Blake and Gina Martin.” 

That was expected. 

“Cage Wallace and Ontari Birch.” 

Once again, expected. 

“John Murphy and Clarke Griffin.” 

Clarke sighed and tried her hardest to not groan out loud as she stood up and walked down to the gym. She could feel many eyes on her as she walked down and stood next to Octavia, not wanting to be anywhere near Murphy in that time. She could feel Octavia next to her- she was expressing a look of both excitement and fear. 

“What’s up?” Clarke whispered as Wallace continued to talk about Homecoming. 

“Five out of eight of the homecoming royalty are in the production. One of them is Romeo. What the hell are we going to do about our float?” 

Clarke swallowed. She didn’t really know. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

They had managed to come up with a compromise right before the parade was to begin. With the drama club being severely underrepresented- most of the cast being royalty- they decided against dressing up for the parade. Homecoming Royalty was supposed to look nice, most girls choosing to wear dresses, but for those in the club, they opted for their shirts to represent the group they came from. Even Murphy complied by it (after begging and a threat from Octavia). Clarke wasn’t super excited to have to share a car with him, but throughout the parade, Murphy seemed to be quite respectful. He did what he had to do- wave to people watching, and even made some small talk with Clarke. That didn’t make her like the fact that she was going to have to be around him for a while, though. 

The parade lasted only about an hour or so and Clarke couldn’t help herself from constantly wanting to look behind her, past the other groups walking to see Lexa atop the float for the drama club. She looked quite in her element- almost like a princess. It looked effortless for her, like she had done it a million times before. It didn’t fail to bring a smile to Clarke’s face. 

She had to figure out what exactly her feelings were for Lexa. 

The rest of the parade was uneventful, even when she saw Lincoln standing on the side in something _other_ than black- he was actually wearing orange. It was odd, but kind of funny at the same time. They weren’t able to get out of the cars until they got to the parking lot of the school and Clarke had never been happier to get away from Murphy. He had gone off to be with the football guys for some pre-game whatever it was, and Clarke had managed to find her way to the drama club. They didn’t have too long before the play began, but Kyle’s dad had brought his small grill and they were able to have their own, small little tailgate party. Clarke was happy about it, and even happier when Lexa had decided that her lap was a good enough seat. It was worth the looks she had gotten from the rest of the club, and the suggestive smirk that Raven had sent her way (she had glared at her friend for that). 

The game was just like any other game aside from the fact that the stands were packed on both sides. Clarke wasn’t prepared for how packed the game was, but it was awesome to see how into the game everyone was getting. Long gone were the people who only went to the games to see their friends and in their place were people who were cheering for every touchdown on their team and cursing under their breath with every fumble or scoring of the opposite team. In the end, Arcadia High had come out victorious and everyone was planning to go out celebrating. Murphy was having another one of his parties and while most of her group wanted to go, Lexa didn’t. She said that she was tired and she wanted to get some rest for the dance tomorrow, but something was telling her that it may have had something to do with how the last party they went to ended. Lincoln had wanted to go with Octavia and Raven, so Clarke told him that she’d walk Lexa home. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the party?” Lexa asked as they exited the stadium.

Clarke nodded and pulled her jacket back on over her shoulders. “Yeah, I’m sure. I mean, I don’t think it’ll be _that_ fun watching my friends all getting drunk and being all over the place. Besides, we’re not the only ones not going. Monty decided to go home, too.” 

“What happened with him today, anyways?” 

Clarke licked her lips and sighed. “I don’t really know, exactly.. He had a panic attack in the art room, though. We talked some things out and I talked to his mom.” 

“Are you sure that was a good idea? What if he gets upset?” 

“I’d rather he be upset with me than something be seriously wrong and his mom not know.” 

Lexa smiled at her. “That’s.. Really adult of you, Clarke.” 

They started to walk the way to Lexa’s house, with the brunette leading the way because Clarke had no idea where they were going. They were going the opposite way of town, even to the point where there wasn’t any sidewalk anymore. They walked along the road, without a car in sight. It wasn’t _that_ odd, most people were all in town because they were celebrating the win. It felt like time had stopped as they walked, up until Clarke heard a crack of thunder. Her eyes widened as she turned to Lexa. 

“Was that thunder?” She asked; Lexa gave her a look that confirmed her suspicions. 

“Shit.” Clarke cursed, then took off running. Lexa had mentioned that they were halfway to her house, and Clarke was hoping that if they ran they’d be able to outrun the rain. 

They ran and ran, but their running was moot as the rain came down atop of them. Clarke heard a laugh from Lexa behind her and she couldn’t help but laugh herself, coming to a stop because running was useless at this point. The next thing she knew she had a sudden force behind her, sending her forward, but firm yet gentle hands on her hips to keep her from falling. She turned around to see Lexa right there, her eyes bright and a grin on her face. 

“I guess we didn’t run fast enough, huh?” Lexa asked, her voice flooding with amusement as her hands didn’t fall from her hips. 

Clarke only laughed, shook her head and acted on impulse- she reached up and cupped Lexa’s face between her hands and seared forward, pressing her lips to Lexa’s firmly. Lexa pulled her closer and their bodies were flush together as their lips moved together so fluidly, so gently, like they were made for each other. The rain continued to pour down around them, hitting the leaves and the gravel under their feet but they didn’t separate. They stayed locked together, embracing each other so innocently until thunder cracked again and they separated, both too happy to form words. Lexa smiled first and looked down, then up at the sky that continued to rain. 

“Come on.. I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind if you borrowed some of my clothes.” The brunette suggested and Clarke could only follow. 

She wasn’t expecting to have Indra suggest that Clarke stay the night, too. 

“So, you work at the museum?” Clarke asked from her spot on the couch, a box of take-out in her lap. “That’s.. Really cool, actually. I used to go there all the time as a kid.” 

“I do, yes. I used to work at the Smithsonian.” Indra replied, chuckling at the look that took over Clarke’s face. “I take it you’ve never been?” 

“No, I haven’t.. My dad and I used to make plans to have a family road trip to D.C., but..” Clarke trailed off, and Lexa placed a hand on Clarke’s thigh in support. Indra gave her a look of sympathy. 

“I see.” Indra didn’t have to ask what had happened- the look on both of the girl’s faces were enough to confirm her suspicions. “So, Clarke, do you have a date for tomorrow night?” 

Clarke shook her head. “I don’t, no. I’ve been pretty busy so I wasn’t able to find a date. I guess you could say that Murphy’s my date, though.” 

“John Murphy? Doesn’t he play Romeo?” 

“Yeah, he and Clarke are nominees for homecoming king and queen.” Lexa stated, taking a bite of her food. 

“Well, congratulations, Clarke. I wish you the best of luck tomorrow night.” 

Clarke smiled at her. “Thank you. I just hope he doesn’t get the wrong idea if we win. He kinda.. Doesn’t know how to take no for an answer.” 

Indra nodded in response. “Lexa, do you need the car tomorrow or are you getting a ride from Lincoln?” 

Lexa hummed and went to respond, but Clarke beat her to it. 

“I could give you a ride, if you want. My mom’s letting me take her car tomorrow night ‘cause Bell is taking Gina and there’s not a whole lot of room in his truck.” She offered, looking over at Lexa. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Of course. I can pick you up.” Clarke smiled, and Lexa nodded. 

“I’d like that a lot.” 

They had settled in to watch a movie until Indra had gone off to bed, and Lexa suggested that they went upstairs to her room. Clarke took in her room with a gasp of air; it seemed to really scream Lexa. The walls were painted a dark green with accents of white and yellow dancing around the walls, all behind various posters of Broadway shows. There was a simple desk and dresser and a door that Clarke assumed led to her closet, but the things atop it were things that Clarke had only assumed that Lexa was interested in. Books lined them each, as well as stapled papers and binders that Clarke felt didn’t have anything to do with school. But there was one thing that was overflowing the room that Clarke couldn’t help but chuckle at. There were candles _everywhere_. 

“And I thought I had a candle problem..” She joked, earning a snicker from Lexa. 

“Shut up, Clarke.”

As Lexa went right to the bed, Clarke had found herself walking over to the desk, finding a picture that was propped up against a desklamp. In the picture was Lexa with someone that Clarke had assumed was Lexa’s friend from D.C. She took in the image, how happy Lexa had seemed and how the other girl seemed to be laughing. It brought a small smile to her face. 

“Her name was Costia.” Clarke turned to see Lexa on the bed, staring at her. She furrowed her brow. 

“The girl in the picture. Her name was Costia. She was.. Amazing. A great person; so full of life and love. She didn’t have a hateful bone in her body.” Lexa smiled sadly and stood up, walking to stand next to Clarke. She looked at the picture and gently took it from Clarke, setting it back down in it’s spot. 

“Why do you keep saying was?” 

“Remember when I told you I lost someone?” 

Realization fell over Clarke’s features. 

“She was a sophomore, I was a freshman. So.. three years ago, roughly. She loved field hockey, history, and well.. Me.” Clarke felt Lexa stiffen up a little next to her. “She was walking home from school.. And some idiot was intoxicated while driving. She didn’t even see it coming.” 

“Lexa..” Clarke placed a hand on Lexa’s arm. 

“It’s okay, really. I’m alright. But can we please go to bed?” Lexa asked, giving Clarke a pleading look. 

Clarke only nodded and they retreated to the bed, neither of them saying another word for the rest of the night. 

When Clarke woke up the next morning to a text from Bellamy saying that he was there to pick her up, she felt Lexa’s arm around her and a gentle breath on the back of her neck, and she had never in her life felt more content. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Clarke usually never went too all out when it came to homecoming, but with this not only being her last but also one where she had a chance of being homecoming queen, she had to outdo herself. Sure, she put off this “I don’t care” vibe when it came to homecoming royalty, but in reality, she was excited. She and her friends were getting ready at her house, then they were going to drive over to the Woods’ house for pictures there (as per Indra’s request when she found out that Lincoln had asked _both_ Octavia and Raven). They had planned everything out last minute, but Abby and Octavia’s parents were going to meet them at the Woods’ house for pictures. It was all short notice, but everything seemed to be working out. Even Bellamy and Gina were going to be meeting them there. 

Clarke was the last to finish getting ready out of the three of them, and the way she looked had brought her mother to tears and a smile to both of her friend’s faces. At one point Octavia had brought her close and whispered, “Lexa is a very lucky girl” to her, which if she weren’t already wearing blush her face would show how red she had really gotten. 

The pictures were awkward as were so many pictures taken during a big school dance event, but Clarke didn’t mind that much. She knew it was making her mom happy and she didn’t mind it. They had taken pictures as groups, individuals, and even pairs, so when Bellamy had announced that they should leave before they run out of time for dinner, Clarke had never felt more grateful for her best friend. 

After they had what felt to be a giant dinner they headed to the school, all entering the doors to homecoming with smiles on their faces. The venue was beautiful (even though it was only the gym- the homecoming committee had done a really good job that year) and it seemed like almost everyone in the school was already there. People were dancing, chatting and having fun, just like they should be. Bellamy and Lincoln had wasted no time in dragging their group out on the dance floor, where they all seemed to be dancing together in one big mob. It was a night that Clarke wouldn’t forget, especially after what happened when it was time for the homecoming royalty to be announced. 

“Can I have our nominees come up to the stage, please?” Principal Wallace had said into the mic when the music stopped. The eight individuals had all gone on the stage; Clarke choosing to stand next to Bellamy and Octavia rather than Murphy. She didn’t feel like being around him- always having this feeling that he was going to ruin everything. 

“Alright, drumroll please!” Clarke rolled her eyes at her principal trying to be cool, “Your homecoming king is… John Murphy!” 

There was cheering as Murphy moved to the front of the stage to be crowned, then the crowd died down as Wallace stepped up to the microphone again. 

“Congratulations, Mr. Murphy. Now, for the moment you’ve all been waiting for.. Your homecoming queen is..” He paused for dramatic effect. 

“Clarke Griffin!” 

Clarke let out a breath and walked forward, smiling as she felt the tiara on her head. The music had picked up again as Murphy led Clarke down to the floor for the “first dance” thing (which Clarke found ridiculous but she went along with it anyways). She had reluctantly wrapped her arms around her shoulders as his hands found her waist, and she found herself looking anywhere but up at him. 

“I was hoping we’d get this.. I wanted to talk to you about something.” Murphy whispered, earning Clarke’s attention. When he saw that she was paying attention to what he was saying, he continued. “I’m.. sorry for the way I’ve been acting towards you and Lexa. I was a dick- I realized that when you told me to fuck off yesterday. You looked.. Really, really mad. I didn’t mean to push too far, I..” 

Clarke smiled at him and shook her head. “Thank you for apologizing. I guess Lincoln really knocked some sense into you then, huh?” 

Murphy chuckled. “I guess so. And uh.. I’ll stay away from Lexa. Stop trying to make a move on her and everything.. It wasn’t right of me to do that at the party.” 

Clarke nodded. “Thank you.” 

“I know you’d rather be dancing with her..” 

“John, it’s okay..” 

“No, it’s not.” He whispered and stopped dancing, looking for Lexa in the crowd among everyone else. “You deserve to be dancing with someone you want to be dancing with, not someone you’re forced to.” He explained, reaching for Lexa’s hand. When Lexa reluctantly took it he led her to Clarke, insisting that they danced together. “You’re welcome.” 

Clarke mouthed another “Thank you” to him, and her hands fell to Lexa’s waist. She could feel everyone staring at them, everyone looking at them with curiosity and some with judgement, but she didn’t really care (yes she did, she just tried not to think about how much she cared about them all staring). She felt Lexa’s arms around her shoulders and she smiled as she rested their foreheads together. 

“That was really sweet of Murphy to do this.” Lexa whispered, swaying along to the music with Clarke. 

“Yeah.. it was.” 

“Are you okay?” 

Clarke’s eyes softened. “Yeah I.. I’ve been doing some thinking..” 

“And?” Lexa asked, her eyebrows perking up. 

“Will you go out with me?” 

Lexa smiled, but remained quiet. Clarke’s heart started to race in a panic, but when Lexa leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to Clarke’s- people watching be damned- Clarke knew her answer. 

Sure, everyone around them was staring at them like they had grown a third head, but she didn’t mind it. Not when she had Lexa in her arms, and a date with Lexa to look forward to. She didn’t mind it, because slowly but surely she was learning that things were a worth a lot more than just going through the motions. She leaned forward again and captured Lexa’s lips in her own, earning a gasp from a few people around them, but she didn’t care. Everything was definitely becoming worth the risk.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small ramble about hands and Clarke's return to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter this time around but I really wanted to get you guys a new chapter because I've been slightly MIA for a little bit. I'm going to try and get another chapter out soon- I've already got the ideas for it in the works. Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> I also added Monty as a major character because I feel like his subplot is going to become something a little more major. Plus, who doesn't love a little bit of Monty?

Hands were a strange thing, Clarke had realized. 

There were soft hands, hard hands, big hands and small hands. Hands that were dirty, like her father’s after a day in the shop, and hands that were clean, like her mother’s before she started to cook. Hands that were damaged, hands that were perfectly unscathed. 

As she remembers it, her father’s hands were hard. Calloused and firm due to the constant working with tools and playing his guitar around the bonfires on cold, autumn nights. But despite the abuse his hands were put through, they always seemed to be soft when she would hold his hand during a baseball game so she wouldn't be lost. His hand worked as an anchor- something to keep her safe and still when she was feeling all over the place. 

Her own hands were smaller, but similar. Calloused from holding various sport sticks, learning guitar- despite not playing in a few years- and pinching brushes and pencils during long nights when her mind wouldn't stop running. She always tried to soften them with lotion, but they'd always turn harsh again when it came time for practice. 

Lexa’s, Clarke realized, were entirely different. She noticed this Saturday night after Homecoming when the brunette had come to her house. It was late and Indra had texted both Lexa and Lincoln, saying she'd prefer them to stay with a friend rather than risk taking the unlit roads back to home after a tiring night at the dance. Lincoln had stayed in the guest room (after a small fight put up by Octavia) and Lexa had stayed with her. 

Lexa’s hands were soft. Her fingers were long, and her nails were kept neat and trimmed. They were gentle; the way they moved carefully along her sides as their lips reconnected again and again. When they parted for bed, they offered a small comfort against Clarke’s stomach, rising and falling with her breath. 

Clarke found herself wanting to hold Lexa’s hand, and she did. 

Upon doing so she realized that while the difference was vastly against her father’s, Lexa’s hand in her own gave her the same sense of security, of serenity, that she hadn't felt since her father passed. The way that her own hand seemed to lock effortlessly with Lexa’s like they were made for each other, the way that Clarke could feel Lexa’s smile against her shoulder when they _finally_ held hands for the first time, made her feel safer than she had in years. And for once, she slept peacefully, with Lexa behind her and thoughts of a happy forever invading her dreams. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To say that Clarke was nervous for Monday morning was an understatement. After the little incident at the dance, people were obviously going to talk. Everyone knew that Clarke Griffin played on both teams, but actually having a _girlfriend_ was an entirely different story. All throughout high school she had only dated boys- Finn being the longest relationship she had- so having so openly committed an act of engaging in a relationship in front of the whole school like that was quite the startling move. Her friends were supportive, of course, but after her and Lexa’s dance had ended she had noticed a few looks of passerby’s that obviously didn’t approve of what had gone down. At the dance, she had acted like she didn’t care what people thought but now that she was in the passenger’s seat of Bellamy’s truck, on her way to Arkadia high, her self-conscious side was starting to settle in. 

“Everything okay over there, C?” Bellamy asked, glancing over at Clarke for a moment before his eyes went back to the road. It was a rainy day in Arkadia, not a storm but a gentle downpour. The pellets of rain hit the windshield in soft pecks, seemingly louder in the quiet truck. 

Clarke lifted her head from the window where she had been resting and looked over at him; a sigh leaving her lips. The silence of the truck had washed her in a small sense of comfort, despite Raven and Octavia not being with them. It was just herself and Bellamy, like it had been for a long while when Octavia was in drama (back when they didn’t realize that she was) and Raven had robotics. 

She stayed silent for a moment, letting the rain fill the silence once more. She looked down at her hands, remembering how Lexa’s had felt against hers Saturday night. How _right_ it felt to have Lexa’s hand in her own; their contrasting skin tones meshing together to form a unity that she hadn’t felt before. She shouldn’t be questioning something that felt so natural, so normal and right. 

“I will be.” 

She could hear the light snicker that came from Bellamy, even without looking at her friend. “Nervous for today, huh? You and Lexa pulled quite the stunt at the dance.” 

Blue eyes squinted in his direction, noticing the underlying judgement from him. 

“I’m not meaning it as a bad thing, Clarke. You know that.” He reassured her, reaching over to place a comforting hand on her forearm. His grip wasn’t tight and harsh, but loose and gentle. Much like it had been when she had received the worst news of her life. “It’s a good thing. A really good thing.” He retracted his hand and shook his head, sighing. “What I’m trying to say- and you know I’m really bad at words- is that, you did something so ballsy, kissing Lexa in front of everyone, and yeah, there’s going to be backlash. But I know you can handle it- you don’t have to be nervous.” 

Clarke was silent again. As Bellamy pulled onto the main street he picked up speed, the sound of his truck having that extra little push radiated under the sound of the rain. 

“I’ve seen the way you look at her, you know.” He commented, once again breaking the silence. “You.. look at her as if she gives you the world. As if she was… Okay, I’m going to get a little poetic here so don’t make fun of me- you look at her as if she were the sole source of oxygen for you. I haven’t seen you this happy since..” 

Bellamy trailed off, his eyes focusing on the road again. Clarke knew what he was referring to. She hadn’t been in a relationship since the summer before her sophomore year- or as most of her friends know it as- the summer with the Finn fiasco. After her father had passed away, Clarke had become a little reckless. Sure, she tried to throw her entire focus into sports but she was trying to do _anything_ she could, anything that she thought could make Jake proud of her. Sports could only take so much time and her mother would constantly tell her that she’d need to relax, she needed to have fun and be a teenager, so she did. 

She began hanging out with her friends more, and while that helped it didn't give the distraction that she truly felt that she needed. It wasn’t until Bellamy had suggested they go to an end-of-the-year party at Murphy’s that she had found a more interesting distraction: alcohol. She had indulged in the drink and with the parties came the football players. She had started talking to Finn that night; they had bonded over sports and drinking and at the time Clarke thought it was a match made in heaven. She only saw him during parties when she was wasted and the relationship had only lasted for the summer, but even during that summer Clarke wasn’t happy. She wasn’t happy while she was drinking, wasn’t happy when she was with Finn; she hadn’t been happy since her father had passed and that continued on until they were seniors. Sure, the pain had eased and she had grown to smile and laugh again but it was never truly the same. When school came back around she had to minimize her drinking for the sake of indulging in sports, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t drink whenever she had the chance. Even to this day, Bellamy would always fear that Clarke would drink just a tad too much and it would end up impacting her ability to play. 

“She makes you happy, Clarke. And I believe that if she can bring that genuine Griffin grin back onto your face, then I think she’s worth whatever will come from the neanderthals and the homophobes at the school.” Bellamy stated, shrugging his shoulders as he pulled into the school. 

“You do realize you’re one of those neanderthals, right?” 

“Yeah, but I’m a hot neanderthal.” 

Clarke rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. She hadn’t been hanging out with Bellamy that much lately and she really missed him. As they got out of the truck she linked arms with him, surprising them both for a moment, and they headed into the school together. They had met up with Raven and Octavia inside, with Lincoln not too far behind them, which gave her the impression that Lexa was already there. She looked up at Lincoln with hopeful eyes and he smirked, slipping his hands into his pockets before speaking. 

“She’s going over some notes with Anya.” He stated simply, and Clarke turned to Bellamy as she dropped his arm. 

“Thank you, for this morning. I.. really needed it.” She told him and he half-smiled at her, nodding. The blonde headed off down the hallway, leaving the rest of her friends to talk amongst themselves. 

“Bell? What was that about?” Octavia asked. 

“Clarke just needed a little reminder that her happiness comes before everything else.” He explained, shrugging as he stopped at his locker. 

“What exactly do you mean by that? Is she okay?” Raven questioned, leaning against the lockers on Bellamy’s left. 

“She’s fine. Just uh.. Keep an eye on her, throughout the day. She’s feeling iffy about whether or not she made the right choice on Saturday and I know that some of the asshat’s here are going to try and fuck with her about it.” He mumbled, more to Raven than to Octavia. He trusted his sister with his life, but with the confusion that Octavia had been going through (he didn’t eavesdrop on her conversations- she talked loud and their bedroom walls were rather thin) he didn’t want to worry her. 

Raven nodded in understanding and looked over at Octavia and Lincoln, who seemed to be lost in their own little world. When Bellamy glanced at her and saw her gaze he shook his head. 

“Don’t worry about them, alright? O loves you. I know this- she’s loved you for a long time, Ray. I don’t think she’s going to choose him over you. She’s just.. Confused. I don’t get this whole poly-whatever thing you guys have going on, but.. Well, she’ll come around.” 

Raven’s eyes widened as she looked at him, quite confused by his sudden onslaught of knowledge. She leaned forward and tapped his head a few times before gasping, “Oh my god! There’s actually a brain in there!” 

Bellamy rolled his eyes and shut his locker, shaking his head as he and his friends continued on to class. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Clarke had been waiting outside the door of the drama room since she left her friends, impatiently waiting for Anya to be done with Lexa. It had been less than a day since she had seen the brunette, but she was excited. She and Lexa were together officially and after the semi-pep talk she had received from Bellamy that morning, she wanted nothing more than to flaunt her relationship and happiness in the faces of those who were bitter and ignorant towards herself and relationships in general. Her body was itching with impatience, and she couldn’t help but wonder what “notes” that Lexa was going over with Anya. 

As far as she knew, Anya hadn’t asked for anyone to take notes during their one-on-one scenes. Maybe it was the fact that Lexa was Anya’s obvious favorite and she wanted to talk to her about who knows what. She found herself chewing on her lip again (a bad habit that she really, really needed to break soon) as she waited, ignoring the first warning bell that rang out above them. They had roughly ten minutes before class began. 

It was only a few minutes later that the door opened and Lexa walked out, a smile forming on her face when she saw Clarke waiting for her. She immediately wrapped her arms around the blonde, embracing her closely as Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist. Clarke immediately relaxed into Lexa’s hold and if it wasn’t for the fact that she knew she had a class to get to, she probably would have stayed there forever. Reluctantly she pulled back and met Lexa’s eyes, before she gave the girl a gentle peck on the lips. 

“What’d Anya want to talk about?” She asked, breaking their hug in order to lace her fingers with Lexa’s. She couldn’t get over how their hands felt together, especially as they fell into step on their way to Lexa’s first hour. It was so natural, even with everyone giving them side-eye glances and the occasional stare just to make sure that what the people were seeing was real. 

“Nothing really- she just wanted to go over a few things; see how I felt on how the progress of the show was doing, all that.” Lexa explained vaguely, swinging their hands slightly. 

Clarke wasn’t too sure of the answer that Lexa had gave her; it seemed like there was something the brunette wasn’t telling her. “That’s.. Kind of strange. Why wouldn’t she ask us as a group during drama?” 

“Because it was more on my opinion than everything else. I know you’re curious- but don’t worry, it’s nothing bad, okay? Don’t worry too much about it.” Lexa assured her, squeezing her hand and kissing her on the cheek. 

Clarke sighed, but nodded. She knew that if it was something major that Lexa would talk to her about it. She was a worrier at best- always wanting to know everything for the sake of keeping her friends safe, but since Lexa didn’t seem too worried about it, she had no choice but to believe the girl. She squeezed the brunette’s hand back and nodded, leading the brunette through the halls. 

Their day continued on with ease, with little to no comments being said about their newfound relationship being paraded through the hallways. They had even managed to spike up a few friendly conversations with people who were genuinely curious, and to her surprise Clarke had earned a lot more support from the student body than she had originally thought. It might have had something to do with her social status, but she was glad about it nonetheless. 

It wasn’t until their drama class rolled around that Clarke started to get an off feeling. Upon walking into the classroom she looked at the dry erase board and her eyes widened at the name that was written on the board for the student to teach the class that day. She had had her routine and everything prepared, but she wasn’t expecting to be going so soon. She had completely forgotten what day she had signed up for- she could have sworn that she wasn’t going for another few days.

“Ahh, Clarke. It looks like it’s your day today. Gustus is out sick today and John isn’t prepared to take over the class.” Anya stated, handing Clarke the clipboard with the attendance sheet. “I hope you don’t mind.” 

Clarke was about to protest and say _yes, I do mind_ but she knew that talking back to Anya wouldn’t be the greatest idea. She released Lexa’s hand and nodded, looking down at the board. “Yeah uh, I can do it.” 

“Great- What song will you be using for stretches?” 

Clarke looked over to Lexa and gave her a look that asked if she could tell Anya in private. It wasn’t that it was a secret, but she didn’t want Lexa to hear what the song was before she was to announce it. When Lexa walked to the circle to find them a pair of seats, Clarke told Anya her song, and with a nod the older woman walked back to her desk to prepare the song while Clarke got started on attendance. 

“Now that homecoming week is out of the way, I expect you all to be working hard on memorizing your lines.” Anya stated, walking to the center of the circle. “Opening night is in little over a month- our rehearsals after school will begin to be off book quite soon. I expect you all to be prepared. As for set building- for the entire month of October there will be mandatory rehearsals every Sunday from noon to four where we will be working on the sets as a team. Does everyone understand?” 

After she received nods and a chorus of “yes, Anya”’s, the brunette smiled. “Good. Now I’m going to give the floor over to Clarke, who will explain what song she has given for us to stretch to.” 

Clarke handed Anya the clipboard with an awkward smile and walked into the center of the circle, where everyone had already pushed their chairs back and stood up for stretches. The blonde took a deep breath and found Lexa’s gaze for a moment, finding solace in green embers that she really needed in that moment. 

“Okay, well.. The song I chose is kind of old, I mean, not really.. It came out a few years ago but I don’t think that really matters. I’m.. kind of stalling right now.” As the class laughed, Clarke reached up to rub the back of her neck. She really wasn’t prepared for this so soon. “It’s.. kind of a sad song. I heard it not too long after my dad died, my freshman year. It was one of those songs that was hella depressing but at the same time got me through this rough time.. Uh, I’m sure you’ll all know the song once it starts, so..” She nodded to Anya then started in the first stretch, squeezing her eyes shut once the first lyrics of the song started. 

**_Say something, I’m giving up on you_ **

What she had told the class was only an understatement of what the song really meant to her. The song wasn’t that long but it really held an impact to her- especially it being so close to the time her father passed. The song to her represented how she was feeling at such a drastic time in her life and how she was really feeling during it all. Lately she hated listening to the song, knowing that it caused so many emotions to come back to her, but drama was about opening up to everyone. It was about becoming one with your emotions and really showing what you’re capable of, even if it was in a class with maybe twenty students. She was supposed to open up to this group, to show that she was really into this group as a family and trusting them with almost everything. She already trusted Octavia with her life, and she was on her way to trusting Lexa the same way. It was only fair that she really started that journey with the class as a whole as well. 

****_And I... will swallow my pride_  
You're the one that I love  
And I'm saying goodbye 

By the time the song had come to a close Clarke had tear streaks on her cheeks but she kept her emotions for the most part at bay with a pat on the back from Octavia and a comforting hand from Lexa. It was hard for her to open up in such a way and the rest of the class could tell, but they didn’t say a word. It wasn’t until Clarke had wiped her eyes and calmed herself that Anya had stepped up, interfering the emotional moment for the better. 

“Well, that was.. Something. I’m proud that you shared something like that with us, Clarke. You may continue on with the game when you’re ready.” 

Clarke smiled at her teacher, earning a smile in return. It was one thing to get the extra small amount of time to recover, but hearing that Anya was actually _proud_ of her for doing something like that really made Clarke feel like she was taking a step in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in this chapter is Say Something by A Great Big World.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke deals with the hardest re-occurring day of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a small time jump, so I'm going to put this here to help clarify some things:  
> Chapter 10 (Homecoming pt. 2) - September 25th  
> Chapter 11 (Clarke's return after Homecoming) - September 28th  
> This chapter - October 16th

With the weather being bad all through the last week, Clarke was glad to have some dryer weather. It hadn’t rained since Wednesday, and while the weather was still growing colder due to it being the second week of October it was nice enough to allow Clarke to walk to school that morning and not have her deal with Octavia, Bellamy and Raven in Bellamy’s truck for the upteenth time that fall. Most days she wouldn’t have minded it, but today was one that she just wanted to be alone during. Her mother had given her the option to stay home, just like she did every year, but just like every year Clarke declined it. She had to go to school, had to distract herself with her work and try and focus on _anything_ but what the date was. 

It was October 16th. 

Jake Griffin died three years ago that day. 

The thought alone sent shivers down Clarke’s spine as she walked to school, the beat to Halsey’s “Hurricane” being what her feet stepped along to. She had left far earlier than what she usually would have, but she really wanted to make sure that she would be alone. Abby had offered to drive Clarke to school but she declined, just like she always did. It wasn’t that she wasn’t grateful for her mother; she loved her mother dearly and she appreciated everything that Abby did for her. But it just wasn’t the same. Nothing had been the same since her father passed and as much as she wanted to blame _some one_ for what happened, the only thing she could blame was the laws of physics.

As she arrived at the school she looked at the doors and contemplated going in right away. Going into the school meant starting the treacherous day all the sooner, and while she would rather get the day over with she wanted to postpone it for as long as possible. She made her way past the school and towards the football field. The music continued to pound through her headphones as she climbed up the bleachers, picking a spot in the middle as she looked out on the field. 

She remembered how her father loved to come to Bellamy’s football games and cheer him on even if he was only on JV at the time. He would yell along with the crowd with every score of Arkadia and boo with every score of the opposite team. He would be so passionate over every little thing and Clarke found herself hugging the sweatshirt that was a few sizes too big for her smaller frame. It was dark blue and had the word “Yale” across the chest in big white letters- her father’s university. She had found it while she and her mother were going through his things, figuring out what to give to goodwill and what to keep. The moment she saw the sweater and remembered how he would wear it while tending to the The on long autumn nights, she couldn’t part with it. It still had a faint smell of his usual cologne, but Clarke knew that it had to be because her mother still bought a new bottle every year to spray his pillow with. 

She felt the vibrations on the bleachers before she saw the person coming up the stairs. At first she had assumed it was one of the football players getting in morning cardio, but the person walked over to her and sat down next to her. The semi-familiar cigarette smell wafted in her direction and she let her eyes close- Lincoln was the person who had found her. A part of her was relieved that it was him and not Lexa or Octavia or Raven- as much as she loved them she didn’t want them to see her right now. Octavia always gave her sympathy on this day and Raven tried too hard to make her smile. Lexa wouldn’t understand what was going on because she didn’t know what day it was and what it meant to her. 

She removed her headphones and paused her music, letting the silence flood over them. In the distance she could hear cars starting to pile into the parking lot; doors slamming and people conversing with their friends as if their lives weren’t affected by what day it was. They weren’t; they were the lucky ones. Lincoln wasn’t the one to break the silence between them. 

“I thought you were Lexa’s ride.” Clarke mumbled, pulling the sleeves of the sweatshirt over her hands. 

“I am. She wanted to come early- something about needing help from a teacher.” Lincoln replied, taking a drag from his cigarette. 

Clarke didn’t question it. She remained silent, valuing it while she could. A few moments passed before she reached over, taking the cigarette from between his fingers and bringing it to her lips. The smoke had given her that same controlled breathing that it had at the beginning of the school year and she was grateful for it. She let the smoke out of her lungs and looked up at the sky, closing her eyes as she took another drag then handed it back to Lincoln. Still, the man was silent. 

“Why do you always show up when I’m feeling emotional?” Clarke asked him, her arms returning to hugging herself. 

“Gut feeling, I guess. That and the fact that Raven and Octavia showed up with Bellamy, but you didn’t. When I asked, Bellamy said that you walked to school.” 

“So you came looking for me?” 

Lincoln smiled. “Not exactly.” He stated plainly, ashing out his cigarette as if for emphasis. 

Clarke nodded, getting the message. They were silent again. 

“It’s.. the three year anniversary of my father’s death.” She whispered out into the open, as if she couldn’t believe it herself. The wind picked up slightly and tears pricked at her eyes, memories flooding to her. 

She swallowed and squeezed her eyes closed, biting back the tears. She didn’t want to keep crying. The more she cried the more real it felt. Today had already felt like a dream that she couldn’t wake up from; the more she thought about it the more she just wanted to cry. Her mind was in a constant spiral of things that she couldn’t break apart or comprehend and she was starting to second-guess her decision to come to school that day. A hand on her knee made her eyes open and she looked over at Lincoln curiously, her brow softening when she realized that he had moved to open his arms. She leaned into him, letting his arms wrap around her. If she thought hard enough, she could imagine his arms were her father’s and that calmed her. Jake would have wanted her to be happy. To be okay. 

So she tried her damnedest, even as Lincoln guided her into the school and to her first hour. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She hated the looks that her teachers were giving her. Their sympathetic eyes rivaled Octavia’s and made her feel like she was made of porcelain, destined to break at any moment. Every time they passed over her name when asking questions she would sink further into the sweatshirt wrapped around her body and hope that the day would be over soon. The sooner the school day was over the sooner she could go home and brood until evening when the Blake’s would come over and they’d all have a cookout and a bonfire. 

It was something that Bellamy suggested a few days before the first anniversary. Jake had loved to cook for both families and spend time with them all, and what better way to remember such a loving man than by doing what he loved to do with them? So it became a tradition. Marcus would run the grill and after they ate they’d sit around the fire, singing songs that Jake loved and sharing their favorite memories of him. It was bittersweet and most of the time nobody was dry-eyed by the time it was over. 

When the bell rang Clarke had never been more grateful to hear the noise of ringing metal. The only downside to this was that her next class she shared with Octavia, who was without a doubt going to question her about why she had walked to school and why she hadn’t been answering any text messages, even if the day alone should have been a good enough excuse. While they did share drama with Lexa, Clarke just wanted to be alone. But she should have known that things weren’t going to be that easy. 

“Ah, Clarke. Good, just the person I wanted to see.” Anya stated as Clarke entered the hallway to the main stage, causing the blonde to raise an eyebrow. “Act one, scene three. On the stage you go.” 

They had started doing run throughs of the scenes that week. Clarke had forgotten. 

“Anya, I can’t today, please-”

“Clarke, not knowing your lines is not an excuse. You’ve had the script for weeks, if you weren’t willing to put in the dedication you should have declined your role.” 

“No, no I know my lines but-”

“Then you should have no problem getting onstage and performing them.” 

“Anya please-”

“There are no excuses, Clarke!” 

“My dad died today, Anya! Give me a freaking break!” Clarke yelled, immediately regretting raising her voice and closing in on herself. She shook her head and turned, quickly walking out of the drama room and out into the hallway. 

Anya stood there, speechless and frozen until she shook herself out of it and walked onto the stage with a sigh. “There’s been a change of plans, class. We will run through scene three tomorrow. Onto scene four- John, Kyle, Wells, let’s go. We don’t have all day.” 

Octavia had already been on the stage next to Lexa, but when she heard her friend yelling she felt Lexa stiffen next to her. The air had grown thin and the brunette’s first instinct was to run off after Clarke, but Octavia stopped her. “She’s.. I’ll go after her, okay? It’s a touchy subject-” 

“I know what happened, Octavia, she told me. I just.. I didn’t know the day.” Lexa explained. “Please-” 

Octavia met Lexa’s pleading eyes but she was torn. Shaking her head she grabbed the girl’s arm and walked offstage, not bothering to look back at Anya. She’d take the absence if it meant that Clarke was okay. 

“We’ll be back, Anya!” Lexa called over her shoulder as they left, but once in the hallway Lexa wasn’t sure where to go. “Octavia, where could she-” 

“Stop asking questions and just follow me.” Octavia grumbled, throwing her backpack over one shoulder as she headed down the hallway. They went into the nearest bathroom, just in case Clarke went there, but to no avail it was empty. Octavia pulled out her phone. 

_**Text to: ALL** _  
_**Octavia:** If Clarke was to say, have a mental breakdown, where would she go?_

 

_**Bellamy:** Nearest bathroom?_

 

_**Octavia:** Tried that. Anyone else?_

When a reply didn’t come in right away Octavia huffed, growing frustrated. She ran a hand through her hair and started to pace, thinking of all the places that Clarke could have gone. Lexa leaned against the cool wall, watching as Octavia paced. She fought the urge to chew her nails out of fear that something could happen to Clarke- her worries were going ballistic. Yes, she knew what happened with Clarke’s father but she didn’t know what _day_ it happened. Clarke hadn’t told her that and if she had she would have tried a lot harder to be around her girlfriend that day. 

Both Lexa and Octavia looked to Octavia’s phone on the sink when it vibrated. 

_**Monty:** The art room._

Octavia noticed that it wasn’t said in the group chat, but she’d question her friend’s reasoning at a later time. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When she left the drama room, Clarke really wanted to run all the way home. She wanted to cry her eyes out on her parents bed while she surrounded herself in whatever clothes her mother kept of her father’s and just engulf herself in his smell. But if she did that she would be removing the purpose in going to school that morning in the first place. So she went to the next best place. 

Hannah Green’s art room had been a place that Clarke always felt safe. She had taken drawing as an actual class her freshman year before, but the art room had always been her refuge. The past two years she had spent her free period in the room, listening to Hannah teach the kids that were looking into art as a profession, hobby or just as an elective to graduate. She loved seeing the way that everyone expressed themselves and it didn’t hurt that she got to partake in the activities as well. If it wasn’t for the fact that Wallace had told her she needed to pick a new elective instead of retaking one or having _another_ free period, she would have taken drawing again. 

As she walked into the room with tears brewing at her eyes, she noticed how everyone was working. Which meant that nobody looked at her. A weight had been lifted off her shoulders as the smell of paint thinner and canvas met her nose; she could feel herself calming down instantly. Hannah met her gaze and gave her a soft smile, waving her over. 

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you in here, Clarke.” Hannah stated, leaning against her desk. “Don’t you have class?” 

Clarke returned her smile and nodded shyly, wrapping her arms around herself. “Yeah but.. I kind of.. You know..” She sighed, trying to find the words. “It’s October 16th.” 

Realization washed over Hannah’s face and she nodded, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth. 

“I just kinda.. I needed to get away from class.. To try and calm down, y’know?” Clarke explained. “This room has been my safe place since it happened and well..” 

“Say no more, Clarke, I understand. Unfortunately, we don’t have any free seats..” 

“It’s okay- I can just stand on the side or something-” 

“But the storage room is free.” Hannah grinned, nodding in the direction of the storage room. Clarke smiled at her and nodded, then made her way back into the storage room. 

The room was exactly what a storage room was supposed to be. It was full of canvases of old students who didn’t pick up their work, extra paint and paintbrushes, tubes to hold art that was on paper and other various things. There was a table in the center of the room, with shelves on either side of the room holding the aforementioned supplies. Clarke stepped forward, running her fingers along the table and smiling at the splays of paint here and there when students got a little messy. Setting her bag on the floor she walked over to the canvases, running her fingers over the dusty material. One in particular caught her eye. 

Her breath caught in her throat as she pulled the canvas out from the pile, removing the dust from the top and side. She swallowed as she put it on the table, looking it over and recognizing every brush stroke from years before. It was a piece she was working on for her father’s birthday her freshman year. It was a portrait- a picture that her mother had taken the summer before when they were at the zoo. Both herself and Jake were in the picture, her father trying to feed a giraffe but the giraffe had taken an interest in trying to eat Jake’s hair instead. He had a look of horror on his face but Clarke’s had a look of pure joy and laughter. It was one of her favorite pictures of him. 

The painting had gone unfinished. 

Her eyes scanned over the painting, noticing details she had immediately put in and how it all seemed to start with her father then branch out around the canvas. She remembered when she started painting it, how she couldn’t get the colors to blend to get the right color of blue and it took her almost a week in class to get the right color. She placed her fingers to the dried paint, a small smile forming on her lips as she felt the textured grooves in each paint stroke and how the colors blended together to form his face. The rest of the painting was merely outlined, a light pencil and suddenly stopped brush strokes from when she wasn’t able to entirely fill in a section. She took a deep breath and set the painting on the table, resting her hands beside it. She missed him. She really missed her father and at this point she felt like there was nothing she could do about it. As she stared at the painting, her heart hurting more and more with every glance at her father’s finished face, she found herself talking herself into finishing it. 

So she did. 

She gathered the extra materials that remained in the storage room and felt her body humming as she ran her fingertips over the bristles of the paintbrushes. The room was quickly filled with the scent of acrylic paint as she started making slow strokes, spreading color around and blending to make the illusion of fabric. She painted and painted well until the bell rang, and by that point she had only a quarter of the painting left to do. She heard people in the classroom start to pack up; conversations of plans for the weekend and what they’re doing for lunch that day muffled by the steel door. She stared down at the almost-finished painting and the glint in her father’s eye is what triggered her breakdown. It started off small, with few tears falling down her cheeks in steady streams and grew to where she was letting out broken sobs and had pushed the paint and brushes and canvas to the side, resting her head on the table. 

It was only when she felt two comforting hands on her back that she realized she wasn’t alone. With teary eyes she looked up at Octavia, then at Lexa, and in that moment she was very grateful that she had the loving friends, and girlfriend, that she did. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Clarke hadn’t talked to anyone else for the rest of the day, but she did accept Bellamy’s offer for the ride home. All the crying that happened throughout the day had her feeling exhausted, making her glad that she had time between after school and the bonfire. When she woke up, she talked to her mom about inviting Lexa, mentioning how even though she never got to meet him, Clarke wanted Lexa to be able to hear about how her father was. Abby had agreed, stating that Jake would have loved to meet Lexa. 

Hours later had Clarke sitting in front of the fire, nursing a root beer as her friends talked amongst themselves. Marcus was grilling while Aurora and Abby set the picnic table for one of the last cookouts they’d be able to really have before snow started to fall. The blonde stared at the fire, her eyes red from the crying she had done throughout the day as she listened to the small talk that the Blake’s and Raven were making on either side of them. There was one spot free next to Clarke, where Lexa would undoubtedly sit when she arrived. 

Her ears perked up when the small talk between her friends formed a rhythm, and she found herself smiling softly as she recognized the tune. She shook her head at them, watching as Octavia clapped the beat as Bellamy took over the verse. 

“ _But man, he had it comin'_  
_Now that Janie's got a gun_  
_She ain't never gonna be the same!~”_

She laughed as they all continued on, alternating the verses of one of her father’s favorite songs. It was the first time she had really laughed all day- most of it was spent crying or wallowing in her own mental pain. She hated thinking that he wasn’t around, but she knew that he would love to see her friends making a fool of themselves singing Aerosmith at the top of their lungs. When they finished the song she clapped for them, giving Bellamy the high five he offered. 

Clarke glanced over her shoulder as Abby called them all to dinner, but her heart sank a little when she realized that Lexa wasn’t there yet. Was she not going to show up? She said that she was going to come, that she would be there. She said that she wouldn’t miss it, that she _wanted_ to be there-

“I hope I’m not _too_ late,” Clarke looked up, seeing the soft eyes of her girlfriend as she walked into the backyard. “I thought it’d only be necessary to have a bonfire with s’mores..” 

Abby smiled at her and nodded, nodding for Lexa to join the rest of the teens at the picnic table. She took a spot next to Clarke and Clarke immediately placed her hand on Lexa’s thigh, like a warm, unspoken thank you. Lexa kissed her cheek then began to make herself a plate, showing no sign of uneasiness around the family setting. 

“Did Lincoln not want to come?” Abby asked from across Clarke. 

“He did, but he had to do some stuff for our mother. I assured him that I’d be able to get here just fine without him. He does send his condolences, though.” Lexa explained, noticing how Octavia seemed to deflate slightly and the way Raven’s lips tightened. 

From then on they spent the rest of the night singing and laughing around the fire, using up the s’mores materials that Lexa had brought as they sat in a circle. Clarke had expressed tears of joy, tears of sadness and words of comfort, but one story stuck out to her. 

“I remember.. It was not too long after we moved in next door.” Bellamy recountered, fiddling with the stick in his hands as he pushed a marshmallow on the end. “I was.. Six, Octavia was five. Her birthday was coming up at the time. Anyways.. You see that tree over there?” He asked, pointing to the big oak tree near the property line between the Griffin’s and the Blake’s yards. “I had gotten stuck in it. I was almost at the top- I was trying to get O and Clarke to climb up there with me, but they were too chicken to do it.” He let out a laugh as Octavia lightly punched his shoulders. “But uh, I couldn’t get back down, and I started crying. Octavia laughed at me and Clarke ran inside and got Jake. He came back out, reminded me of Superman, you know? Sure, he had a ladder but he was coming to save me. And that’s what he did. It doesn’t seem like that big of a deal now, but hey, I was six. I thought I wouldn’t be able to get out of that tree.” He looked down at his feet and let out a sigh, chewing on his lip. “Jake was like a hero to me, even when we all grew up- even after Marcus and my mom got together, no offense,” Marcus shook his head and smiled. “He’ll always be like Superman to me.” 

Everyone was silent for a moment until Bellamy’s marshmallow caught fire and he panicked, making it drop entirely into the fire. Clarke found herself smiling sadly as she leaned into Lexa, who was trying to remember the picture that Clarke was painting earlier. The way that Jake had looked, the way he held himself, it _did_ seem very Superman-like and Lexa found herself wanting to meet him. Growing up without a father in general was hard, but growing up with one and then losing one had to be harder. 

As the night came to a close Clarke buried her face in Lexa’s neck, taking in the way the natural scent of her girlfriend went with the smell of the sweatshirt that she still had on. Both gave her a different feeling of serenity but together, they made Clarke feel the safest she’s ever been. In that moment, watching how Lexa was intimately listening to the stories about her father and taking in every detail like she had to write a report on it, she found herself falling harder for the brunette, and Clarke wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be scared of what was to come, or if she should embrace it and face every hardship that was undoubtedly going to arise with her head held high, and her heart being protected by the girl who came into her life by ridiculing her about a no-phone policy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in this chapter was Janie's Got a Gun by Aerosmith.

**Author's Note:**

> Questions? Comments? Concerns? Just wanna chat me up? Check out my lesbian fandom tumblr: carmillasa4o or my personal tumblr, bextkwrites. I'm open to everything!


End file.
